My mother passed away on 10/12/24 and is currently resting in the funeral home until her cremation on 30.12.24. I feel like I’m in some kind of weird limbo.
I was unprepared for the physical pain of loss. I don’t feel I can grieve as my 87 year old father needs me.
Also I’m so very angry. Irrationally angry and I’m not an angry person by nature. It’s awful
Losingher, I am so sorry that your momma died. It is just awful, no matter how old we are and no matter how old momma was, it physically and emotionally hurts and it is like being orphaned.
Anger is normal. It isn’t irrational, it is grief and fear coming out sideways. We’ve all be screaming mad at some point. Scream into, punch, and kick a pillow to let it out.
In 18 months you will be in a different place emotionally and physically. Meanwhile, take each day hour by hour. Do the most important things and let everything else slide for a while.
It is going to be okay. One day. Just not yet.
Much love.
Sorry for your loss.
I appreciate you want to be strong for your dad. And i appreciate i dont know either of you, with that said maybe your dad is also being strong for you, when all he wants to do is join you in shouting and trying to release the anger.
I remember when my love passed, i was so thankful when someone didnt say the standard “it will be ok” or " dont be sad, he wouldn’t want you to be sad" etc .when someone just said “thats terrible, he should be here, its just crap”
Which humanises the response i was feeling and what the loss it. We try and be polite and look to positive, and while in time we find ways to do that, but nothing wrong with shouting, crying etc as long as we dont live there for too long.