Hi everyone
My dad died on the 20th of October 2024 (he was my foster dad however he was my dad to me as he brought me up since either was 3 years old along with my four siblings)
He was in hospital for seven weeks and we got told his cancer had returned (he had it back in 2007) we had asked for them not to tell him he can’t have treatment and that we would tell him once home but the consultants told him anyway I spent two nights with him in the hospital because he was so scared and we got him home because that’s where he wanted to be.
So that I didn’t have to go visit him twice a day my father in law would go visit my dad (they were close but even closer after this also my father rin law would check in on my mum too)
My dad sadly lost his life on the 20th of October 2024
But then me and my partner suffered another heartbreaking loss and on the 28th of October 2024 my father in law (who did so much for us and for my parents) sadly lost his life too.
We both got to tell our dads how much we loved them and how much they were both loved by others but we both had to lie to them
My dad was in the end kept in bed and die to being in so much pain he was trying to get out of bed and grabbing for stuff but I just kept having to tell him he was having a bad day and just needed rest & I feel so guilty for that but what else are we meant to do in this situation, I miss my dad so much
Then my father in law was in hospital and he was struggling so much to breathe and was really not with it due to the morphine (he had to have a much bigger dose as he already took morphine) and he just suddenly gripped my partner’s hand and asked him if he was dying again my partner had to lie but I don’t know what else he could have said
I miss my father in law so much
The loss of them both has been such a huge hit to myself my partner and our 13 year old daughter who lost two Grandads
I don’t know how to move on because of me working at the hospital and the triggers of it all as well it’s just so sad and so hard