It’s been 19 weeks since my youngest son passed away suddenly and I am really struggling I cry all the time and having nightmares of finding him. Very upsetting when I go to visit his grave. Today I went into his room thinking I should sort his things but my legs was like jelly and I came out shut the door again. Losing a child is the hardest thing I have ever had to go through.
Hi Jacci, I’m so sorry about the death of your child, I can’t imagine the agony you are going through, it’s not meant to happen that way, you can only take one day at a time, have you thought about counselling, Sue Ryder offer this service, hopefully you will find some comfort from this site, sending love Jude xx
Hi jacci. It’s very early days for you. Try to keep posting on here eventually you will connect with people. People who are in the same boat as you. Everyone one on here understands. No one is hear to judge.people are at different stages but can offer you hope or advice. You are right, loosing a child is the hardest thing. None of it is easy. If you are not ready to sort your son’s things then leave it for now, the is no timescale you need to work to. You are trying to process something that we as adults are not programmed to deal with. There are no rule books or step by step easy to follow guidelines. Don’t worry about how much time has passed. It will take as long as it take until you feel ready to deal with things. Talking to people on hear helps greatly. Once you navigate around the site you will find people or the subject matter that suits you best.
Take care . Jim
Hi I lost my son on my birthday in march this year sged 20 after he got a neurological condition in his teens this progressed over 3 years and took his life. I’m absolutely devastated aswell I know how you feel. Just do things as and when your able too x
It’s really hard we are all suffering my son was having loads siezures but only got an appointment with a neurologist in March next year even doctors said it was urgent he just never woke up from a bad one I found him face down on stairs he died day before when I was having my hair done only day I didn’t visit now I can’t go hairdressers feel so guilty xxx
I can say I understand, and I do to some extent because my son died in August last year and life has not been the same since then. Grief is such a lonely journey that we have to face in our own way.
Yes, there is some vague relief that his difficulties are over, but the deep, deep sadness and tears are still so much a part of every day.
Trying to sort out their possessions which are so often the things that were a part of their world is unbelievably hard and I understand that. May I suggest that rather than closing the door on your son’s room, you gradually start leaving it open just a little more each day, and as you pass it, think of the good memories and there are always some of those. How quickly you decide to clear thngs is your choice, but making the room a shrine to his memory is unlikely to help you in the longer term.
Perhaps you could keep things that were special for your son, things he enjoyed having nearby and have a small area that holds these, maybe a drawer that you can open when you choose, so you know his things are still there and you don’t need to be concerned about forgetting your precious son.
Yes losing a child whatever their age seems so wrong and really is the greatest loss we have to bear. Stay strong for his memory.