I’m so lost at the moment and don’t know how to pull myself out of it. 9 years ago I lost my daughter suddenly aged 22 to a pulmonary embolism. Then still struggling after that her twin had a stillbirth at 28wks which devastated us. Then she went on to suffer 2 miscarriages. All this happened in 2022. Then she died suddenly 2023 from a rare complication of diabetes. I just feel so sad, angry and a whole range of emotions I can’t make sense of. People keep saying oh you’re so strong but sometimes you want to scream I don’t want to be strong anymore 
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Julie, I can not begin to fathom your loss, it is indescribable. You have my deepest sympathy. Friends of mine have lost both children too, one lost 2, 20-ish sons in car crashes in a year, the other lost 2 daughters - one from cancer and one from murder.
The mother of the daughters never regained herself. She cried uncontrollably until she died. The parents of the sons opened their home to young people who aged out of foster care and had no place to go.
There is nothing I can say except I am very, very sorrowful learning of your children’s deaths.
Sending love and hugs from the other side of the pond.
Scream as loud as you want. People see you are still alive and think that is “strong”. They don’t know what else to say. Forgive them. We know you aren’t ok, you are surviving. Much different.
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I have no words that could give you comfort after so many tragic losses. I am just so very sorry and send my love.
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I’m so sorry to hear what an awful time you’re having. I’ve recently lost my son and the devastation of losing your children is indiscribable. For it to happen more than once is just horrific. You poor thing I wish I had the words to make it feel better but there aren’t words to describe losing our beloved children. You will get support from the lovely people on here who are grieving too. I don’t know what I would have done without them at times. Sending you love 
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Julie, no words will ease your pain, but please know we are all here. Nobody understands unless they are a parent going through the same. Your losses are unfathomable. I lost my beautiful daughter 4 and a half weeks ago, to cancer. Her suffering was awful and has left me with so many images. I feared when it happened, was with her walk the way, and somehow got through that. I feared the funeral, she had a non-traditional funeral that me and her husband put together. She wanted to be in the woodland, and not a cemetery with gravestones, we did everything the way she wanted, in a way was a beautiful occasion. But somehow, although afraid, I got through it. And now? Now is the real struggle, the real grief and sadness. I don’t know how I get through each day - the mornings are full of anxiety, pain darkness and emptiness. It’s scary. As the day goes on towards evening I feel a little better, glad that soon the day will be over and I will be in bed. Sometimes I think I am just counting down the days until I can be with her, but as I explained to my son, that doesn’t mean I am suicidal, it means the pain and sadness is so deep that it’s hard to bear,and I long for her always. I keep going, for him, my grandson, my partner, and yes even for my little dog. I maybe keep going for me too, in the hope that one day it will not hurt so much and I can live again. Sending love to you.
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I lost my son coming up to three months ago. I can’t stand mornings and early evening when it starts to get dark. A black cloud descends .I like you long for the day when I will be reunited with my beautiful child. Life is so hard, he took his own life after years of depression and I will never get over his loss. I keep a journal of my thoughts and of all the happy times we shared throughout his 30 years. I always write to him in the present tense so it’s like I’m talking to him and it brings me comfort x
Sending so much love to all xxx
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Ali, I am so sorry for your loss. Calling it a black cloud is exactly right. I hate mornings too, I feel desolate, anxious, and that black cloud hovers. No losing a child is something we never get over, and I probably don’t want to. My son has also battled anxiety and depression for years, at the time of losing my Sarah, for weeks before, he was really bad, and for a while I was afraid of losing him too. I divided myself between caring for them both, bring there with Sarah every moment I could, and supporting my son, taking him GP appointments, having him sob in my arms. It was very difficult, but I knew they both needed me. He is somewhat stronger now (having gone on medication) but still some way to go, so I don’t feel I can lean on him really because he is still fragile. I thank God for my partner otherwise I would be lost. Sending love xx
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Hi
So so sad
I lost my son 12 weeks ago aged 38
Like you say everything is so hard and we just continue for the family what’s still here .
His children my beautiful
Grandchildren and his brother and sisters and there family’s
Heartbroken 
doesn’t fit the pain xxx
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