I lost my eldest child, my daughter age 42 in March of this year. She was a single girl and we did absolutely everything together, so my whole life has changed drastically. I felt as though I was coping ok even though I have not had a single day where I haven’t cried but this last couple of weeks have been completely overwhelmed by terrible sadness. I need to find me but just not sure where to start
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Hi Jude. I don’t normally respond to the loss of a child because I have no experience of such an awful event. But since you have come on the ‘coping with bereavement’ page and since no one has apparently answered your post, I am posting this message.
There are so many newcomers to this site that it is difficult to keep up with it all, but that is no excuse for not answering your post.
‘To find me’ you allow emotions to come. It’s perfectly normal to feel as you do. We often think we should be feeling better by now, as some inexperienced people say. But that will only happen given time and a lot of patience. March may seem a long way off, but it’s not in grief. It’s nearly two years since my wife died but I still have bad days.
I have learned to accept that this will happen. We have little control of our emotions, and so often a little thing can ‘trigger’ an emotional response.
I would suggest we have all experienced this overwhelming sadness. It sometimes hits like a blow and is so unexpected which makes it all the worse. You are still in shock, and have suffered about the worse trauma any human can have. It does ease, but the pain will still return from time to time. You are still there beneath the blanket of pain and grief. You will emerge from it all, but life can never be the same for any of us.
Take care of yourself and try and accept that, for a while, you will feel this way, Bless you and take care. John.
Hi Jude
So sorry to hear about you loosing your daughter it is the worst pain we don’t expect to out live our children , I lost my 23 year old son in June I am still in disbelief I keep doing normal things then it just hits me and I can’t stop crying or feel that overwhelming sadness , I had lost my daughter ten years before and have one remaining child it is so very hard to get through the days, I hope you find some comfort in this site there are quite a few other people who have lost their children in other threads it may be worth you looking at them, Take care xx
Thank you so much, I can’t Imagine your pain losing 2 children. Like you I am still in the stage of disbelief and for a while I kept expecting a text from her. I am not used to not being in control but am definitely not in control of my emotions at the moment. I saw my dr on Saturday while having a flu jab and he is going to ring me for a chat this week. It’s a difficult journey we are all on and while I thought I was prepared, I definitely wasn’t x
Thank you so much. I realise my life will never be the same, we did everything together, shopping, meals out, theatre holidays. All that has gone but to be honest I am ok in my little bubble. Covid has made it so much harder, 10 people at the funeral, no cars no wake, for me it felt like a paupers funeral, but would have been so perfect for her, no fuss no being centre of attention. I know I will get there, just my emotions completely taking over at the minute. I am so sorry for the loss of your wife, the loss of any loved one is hard and I thought I was prepared after losing my dad and brother within 11 months of each other, I was wrong. Thank you so much for your reply.