My Son was born with a heart defect so was in and out of hospital for long periods of time throughout his life with some real tough moments along the way sadly he Died aged 7 in 2016 and i dont think ive ever really truly greaved. I just feel so numb sometimes but also am now so quick to anger or get frustrated.

I Dont feel i can speak to friends and family has they are too emotionally involved and i block up talking about certain points in his life.

I find my self dwelling on the tough moment like his last breath rather than the overwhelming more positive moments

And the regrets over the moments were doing normal parent thing and telling him off now feels so painful. But most of all i regret leaving the room after he died . I stayed for 15 minutes cudding him but was so petrified that would be my last memory of him in my head i had to leave but what i would do now for 5 more minutes .

Ive joined this forum had it just somply helps getting my thought down somewhere has to relif the pent up pain everyday.

But i carry on amd try to be strong like he was in his life to do him proud

Hello @Goreski ,

I can see that you’re new to the community. I hope you find it to be a support to you, but I am so sorry for the loss of your son that brings you here.

You say you are feeling so many mixed emotions; feeling numb but equally feeling angry, frustrated and regretful, grief can feel like every emotion and change from second to second, this must be so difficult for you to manage. I wanted to share some sources of support that might help you right now.

  • Child Bereavement UK support families with the loss of a child. They also support bereaved children. You can call their helpline on 0800 02 888 40.

  • The Compassionate Friends support families who have lost a child of any age. You can call them on 0345 123 2304

Sue Ryder also has some resources which can help you cope with grief.

Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.
Take care,


My son was 47, Born with right side cerebral palsy,moderate learning disability, and later epilepsy and under active Thyroid.
Hospital all the time, But he was doing well,used to travel all over the place on public transport. Sharing. House with others being independent.
Then the bomb shell no symptoms, until getting pains in hips and spine. Diagnosed with secondary bone cancer on the 25th April 2023 dead on the 17th July 2023.life is so unfair.All his life he has had to fight,and then when he was doing so well he was taken away. He was such a kind lad helping others, if there is a after life I hope he is helping your little one. Bless you and your family. Xxx

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