Loss of a daughter


I lost my daughter this year 14 weeks ago…still in the counting of weeks stage. Still can’t believe she has gone I miss her so much. It was a sudden death and we had to have a post mortem which tortures me even now.

I just would like to know how others have coped along the path of grief suffering the loss of an adult child.

Everyday is challenge to cope with tears and sorrow and I know Christmas is going to be very hard because she loved it so much.

Thank you


Hello, so very sad reading your post losing a daughter and having to go through a post-mortem must be heartbreaking, so very sorry for you. I know there’s others on this site that have lost their beautiful daughters and I am hopeful someone will read your post. I have sons but can’t imagine anything happening to them, we always believe we will go before them but it’s not always the case.
Please be kind to yourself and give yourself time to accept what has happened and in time it will be easier but she will always be part of you. Stay safe, sending big hugs and blessings. S xx

Hi mrsmac so sorry you lost your daughter, it’s something horrific we could never imagine or prepare for, they are not supposed to go before us. I lost my son 6 months ago sudden death at home same as you. I Had to do CPR on him , ambulance took ages, it was all a nightmare. Then there is the guilt , should have done the CPR better, should have seen it coming, should have , could have ,would have , all what ifs . Post Mortem as well. I still count the weeks as you do and every new month is upsetting as it’s another month without him.
It’s my sons birthday Christmas Day so double whammy you could say. All the Christmas advertisements are really getting to me don’t know how I will get through the day, like so many of us on here, but we will.
Could not eat Lost 2 stone, thought I would die of a broken heart , but didn’t , still here. Can eat now but still cry everyday and don’t recognise the world I am in any more, everyday still a nightmare.
I hope you have supportive friends and family around you.
I am glad you have found this site, so much love and support on here. Keep posting and reading other people’s post it will really help.
Hugs jss x

Hello jss

Firstly thank you for your reply. I can relate to all those things. CPR waiting ages for the ambulance. Yes all those thoughts of did I do it right…guilt filters in and makes it really hard.
Definitely a double whammy on Christmas Day. I hope you have support around you. Lots of family and friends have disappeared after the funeral. My only sister has not spoken to me since the funeral. My youngest daughter, mum and niece have been there for me. This path of grief is tough……yes eating is tough everything tastes of nothing and sleep is the worst. I loved 8 hours but now about 4 if I’m lucky. The oven has never been so clean and the ironing basket is empty.
I know being on here has helped and having that understanding is comforting.

Thank you x

Hi I know how your feeling I really do I lost my daughter 33 yrs on 11th July 2020 we just came back from a short break with her twins girls and son the kids wer playing in the garden and my grandson was on his game upstairs I wasn’t there it was a normal day hot and sunny happy getting ready to go back to the caravan then at 7pm I had that phone call which has changed my life forever she had a cardiac arrest why why why she was healthy a good swimmer everything going for her 3 beautiful children a life ahead my best friend I didn’t come out of my bedroom for 6 months it’s been 18 months now still feels like yesterday I have my grandson living with me most of the time sadly her found her so as you can imagine I’ve had to pull myself together to help him it’s a struggle it’s like half my heart is trying to love my family on earth and half as gone with my girl I’m trying to find away to cope with everyday life my doc gave me a number with a group called stars connecting I’ve been it’s helpful because they are all trying like me and k ow where I’m coming from birthdays Christmas is so hard I’m dreading it I put on a smile but underneath it My heart is broken :broken_heart:

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Hello charlie84,

Thank you, It’s not easy and I know it will never be. The enormity of loosing our precious daughter’s will never go away. I’m broken but somehow you keep going for those that are around you.
I have scaled back Christmas stopped worrying about others and concentrating just on me my husband and my other daughter. Said No to visiting other relatives. All sounds very gloomy but I don’t want to say sorry for crying or being quiet or not joining in the fun.

I think your amazing for staying strong for your daughters children as that can’t be easy. Do people expect you to be over your grief and carry on as normal? What ever normal is. I am due to start counselling next week. I hope this will help.

Sleep has been my enemy despite all the relaxation techniques and even the sleeping tablets didn’t work so I stopped taking them.

I hope you find comfort on here connecting with others on their path of grief. I hope you find peace.


Thankyou for replying just like you Christmas is going to be hubby and me and his mum I have to do all the outings before with the children it’s so hard it’s my daughter’s birthday on the 10th dec which me and my family lets balloons go and haves her fav drink to birthdays it will be I can’t believe it it’s like not real as if I’m reading it a sad story I keep busy clean all the time I find it really hard when someone moans I feel like saying your alive aren’t you but they don’t understand the grief of losing your child only the people who are going through it will understand in my group I go to it’s strange really as we all sit in a circle if the pillow lands to you talk or not so when I went I really wanted to know if I was losing it cos it felt that way
So I listened I couldn’t. Believe we all thought and felt the same there was people who been going 5years but with there experience they say the pain never goes you learn how to live with it I’ve tried sleeping tablets they don’t work I can’t sleep get up make a cup of tea if I’m in the house on my own I talk to her out loud my garden is the only place I can relax but now
Winter here I’m going to be struggling the thing that keeps me going is my family don’t do nothing you don’t want to I find what I’ll say today I won’t tom my family getting used to it and there
Fine when I let them down last minute I’ve started going shopping as I felt everyone was looking at me feeling sorry for me but I can cope with that if you like to talk to me that will be great

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I think you are so brave. Remembering you daughter on her birthday with a balloon and her favourite drink sounds a lovely thing to do. So much emotion to go through and Christmas too.

I hope that you find peace and calm and you remember your beautiful daughter and the good happy memories. Sometimes we do concentrate on the sad and forget they are beautiful happy loving people. And to celebrate their lives and even though they left us we are so lucky to have had them in our lives.


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