Loss of a husband

So I’m at 7 weeks now. I cry every day still and I’m exhausted. I go to bed every day by 7PM and fall asleep crying within minutes then I’m wide awake again at stupid o clock, still crying. I’ve tried to keep busy. I’ve replaced all the flooring in my house myself, made shelves and am now making a rug but I miss him so much. It’s still so painful. I want him back.

Morning
So sorry for your loss
Yes it is so hard my husband passed December the 5th
Some days I don’t get up to 11 back in bed at 4;
Can’t sit in are living room
It all to much for me to
Take care xx

I know just how you feel. There is nothing to get up for.
I look at his armchair I cry.
Going to bed - I cry.
Coming in to an empty house - I cry.
In fact I am crying now.
Will this ever end?

I’m so sorry for your loss.
I’ve decided not to get up today. I dont see the point. He died at home. I woke up Christmas morning to find he’d gone. I’m different in that I can’t bear the thought of leaving the home we shared together. Of looking into a different garden and not seeing the pond he built or the chicken house and run he made. We renewed our vows in November in our garden. His paintings hang everywhere. I have photos of him everywhere. He arranged with his sister to buy me a final gift after he passed. It’s a necklace that holds his ashes and I wear it constantly. I miss him so very much.

so sorry for your loss x we never got to renew our vows it was booked for 04/04/2020 but the pandemic struck we changed the dates umpteen times but sadly it never happened never will we didn’t get to celebrate his 60th our 30th anniversary all because of covid x I to miss him so much but please seek help from your doctor I did I feel so much better I couldn’t stop crying didn’t want to do anything keep talking about him to family and friends it does get easier it’s now been 10 weeks if I hadn’t sought help I don’t think I would be here now so please please speak to your doctor x

Debbie. Please dont move quickly. You need at least 2 years. The rawness diminishes eventually and you will find your home will become a comfort zone. I had it in my head to move asap but now I can cope. I may move to an apartment eventually but in no hurry.

Dear Barb26

Ian died in September. I too cry every day, throughout the day. Like many I hate coming back to an empty house. I sometimes leave the TV on to alleviate the anxiety that hits me as soon as I come back through the door.

As others have highlighted the option of moving. I live close to my son. Ian had promised he would be their child-minder so they bought their house based on this. Now he has gone I am committed to keeping the promise - we worked as a brilliant team looking after our grandson. I only worked part-time but left work last week. I could not sell the house even if I wanted as we never got round to making a will so have to wait for the inquest (Ian was killed in a road traffic accident and police still not submitted their report) and then have to go through probate.

I often work myself into such a frenzy of grief that I make myself ill. Thoughts still run through my head. Not helped by the fact that I had to give statement to police about our conversations on the day etc. and they kept coming back for further information. I just need him back. The range of emotions in one day hurts so much. I cannot believe that our future was torn away from us because of his stupid motor-bike.

The priority for me is to get rid of all the motor-bike stuff in the garage. Cannot stand to go in there. Just need his ‘friends’ to step up to the mark and do as they promised and clear the garage for me.

Take care all. Not sure how or if we ever get through this.

My doctor has said that they wont do anything until I’ve been like it at least 12 weeks. Before that its ‘normal’ grieving, apparently.x

Hello
No I won’t rush into moving yet
Just like us all get so upset over
Everything Andy done to the home
Just feels so empty and soulless now
Xx

Hello
I sob everyday all so raw
Miss Andy so much
Not sure if it will ever be any different
Just feel so cheated
Off a life I really did love
Hate it now xx

Hi
My doctor said after 9 months
They will give me antidepressants
If I need them
Take care xx

I got antidepressants just a small dose doesn’t help with pain of losing him just helps me cope a bit better I am moving home can’t stay in this house not where he died to much bad memories I’ll take the good ones with me hate coming home to the house we shared together the bedroom he died in those are the memories I want to forget I don’t intend to stay on antidepressants for long just long enough to settle in my new home and forget the bad memories

Hello
So sorry we have to do what we feels right
For us
So hard to think at the min
Take care x

Hello Lorra
I also lost my husband to this horrible disease 13 weeks ago and it is so unreal and sad. He was a fine one day and next bottom fell out of our world when we were told he had this asbestos cancer. He was only ill 3weeks when he died and I’m struggling like you to find meaning of it all. If I didn’t have my family I don’t know how I would be. Big hugs to you xx♥️

Big hugs - it’s a living nightmare. X

hello ang1949 sorry for your loss asbestos cancer is not the same as mesothelioma but I know what your going threw same as you if I didn’t have my family i wouldn’t be here either it does get easier you won’t cry so much but the pain is still as raw as the day he died miss him so much x take care sending hugs x

He had the mesothelioma I didn’t realise they were different. Yes it’s very sad but not lonely just at night. I’m out everyday and my daughters and grandchildren keep me going. Every day is different x

yes it’s a horrible disease David was only 60 years old quite young asbestos lung cancer you can live long enough there’s more treatment available yes me to i hate the nights I’m at my daughters 2-3 times a week looking after the grandchildren when she is working only when my son-in-law is away as he works offshore that keeps me occupied just going home to an empty home I still hate it x

It’s so sad and terrible for you you get alot of love from your Grandchildren. Mine are all grown up now 15 and 19 but still special to me and so thankful I have them. My Granddaughter comes to stay once a week with me and I love those special nights. I hope you have find peace at some point and you are right life is so different for us both xxHugs x