Well done you, writing down your problems and feelings means your aware of them. You won’t fix them all overnight, but you now know which ones you can cope with and thats a start, always remember its about small steps, you can’t fix everything at once.
I know thank you for replying I think maybe by just speaking to people who have been through the same thing will him as I hope one day I’m in a position to help others. It doesn’t matter how many people you speak to unless they have been through it there is not much people can say and I’m glad I’m not alone in the gut wrenching feeling of loneliness as I read other’s comments and we are all the same in how we feel x
I nursed my wife on my own for four years, we had so many fantastic exotic and terrific holidays. But the cancer spread to her bones and then she took to her wheelchair and finally to bed. Everyone kept saying nice things but never visited, they all said i looked fine. But they just couldn’t see or feel my pain. I didn’t want to burden my children with how i felt and they never asked. They had families to go home to. They had someone to hold and hug 
so why involve them into my hurt. I like to think that i have come through it but i still cry at tender TV moments or when i see couples together, small steps is the answer, speaking to people and getting back into socialising are my main aims now.
I’m really sorry you ever had to go through that. And yes I know about the no one else sees your pain they just say you’re being strong. Mine was very sudden he had a cardiac arrest after developing an infection so overnight I lost him. He was 36 
x
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We all have different stories of how we have lost our husbands / wives/ partners, thier illnesses and causes of them passing. But the one thing we all have in common is this grieving process and the effects it has on our mind and body.
In a strange way all the postings give me some comfort in knowing I am not alone and are very supportive.
I wish everyone one all the best.
Good day all,I must say I am encouraged by this group as we are all going through the same trauma,my empathy to those who were cared for by their partners I can only imagine how difficult that must be.Please give yourselves time as no 2 days are the same.We are here for each other and I am sure our postings will comfort us ,take care and be kind to yourselves.
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I am sorry to hear your story. I lost my husband of 58 years last September 27th. I find it so difficult living within him. I am so lonely. I am now in bad health, which is so difficult without him to talk to about it. I looked after him for three and a half years.
Now I am having to make appointment etc fog myself and I am finding it a lot harder than all the appointments I made for him. I suppose it must be because I was doing it for someone else.
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HedgeyB,Thank you I too feel your pain,I do not think I would find any pleasure in the month of September again as it is so painful,I tried yesterday to go shopping on my own and it was so terrible I just came back home.I am sure it must be worse for you I cannot imagine 58 years ,please do take care of your health even how painful and take courage you are not alone.
Hi everyone on this horrendous journey of grief it really sucks my linda passed 8/10/24 and the brain fog is immense and just trying to cope with everyday tasks is just mind numbing we were together 14 years and due to marry this year linda was only 53 and my soulmate i just cant see any future now all dreams and plans gone forever no light at the end of this tunnel the yearning to find her is overwhelming but i know i will never find her but that doesn’t stop me searching even a trip to the city just sent me into panic and i had to get back to the car and get home and just the thought of her not sat next to me in the car was bad enough i just want to send my love to all on this journey sorry you are on this road too take care all 
Martin
Hi Martin I am so sorry for your loss but I do understand your pain and trying to do things on your own my beloved passed 4 months ago and I too tried to do life on my own ,I cannot do shopping or sit in a restaurant yet so I avoid doing that .Maybe you should give yourself more time and be kind to yourself it is a difficult journey but remember you are not alone.
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Hi Martin64, i understand how you feel, i lost my beloved husband on 23rd November 2024 to cancer, he was only 50.
All the feelings you have, im going through, like you when I go out the exact same thing happens so now I don’t bother unless I have to. Everyday is a struggle to go on without him, my life is empty now and don’t want to go on without him.
Im so sorry for your loss.
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I feel exactly the same. Everywhere I go I just seem to burst into floods of tears. It’s so exhausting and I just feel so alone. My soulmate died suddenly on my birthday 9 moths ago and tbh I feel like I’m in a nightmare that I can’t wake up from. If anyone knows of any grief cafes in north London pls share -would be nice to meet others in similar circumstances
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Oh thank you for the replies all yes punch i am trying to give myself more time but its hard esp without any support from adult social care as I’m trying to care for my Linda’s elderly poorly mum too as well as trying to get through the day like you say shopping and i cant even contemplate a cafe pub restaurant that yearning feeling just overwhelms me I’m sending my love and thoughts to you
Hi poppet 1973
Im so sorry your on this road too and have lost your husband also at a too young an age thats is so sad i too just don’t bother going anywhere unless its urgent its to overwhelming and understand you feeling empty losing my linda she has just taken a massive part of me with her i hope she knows that part of me is with her and it gets put back when were together again to make me complete again i too struggle to go on i cant see any future at the moment the only thing thats keeping me here is Linda’s mum that im responsible for caring for I’m scared to think how id be if she wasn’t here i know your pain on that so so sorry your here too its a horrible place to be
Oh fran i do sympathise with you on how you feel its just so totally draining and sucks the life and energy out of us that is a terrible thing to hear losing you soulmate at all let alone on your birthday too i cant imagine how devastated you must have been yeah its a living nightmare and there is no waking up from it as its actually real and happening in front of your own eyes but you cant believe what your seeing the pain is indescribable as you know i am so sorry for your loss of your soulmate life is cruel so very cruel to take our loved ones and leaves a devastation of pain like no other behind for anyone who really knows what real true unconditional love is i have been fortunate to have had that love but for far to short a time and that hurts beyond any hurt you can ever imagine my love and thoughts to all in this world suffering loss and grief take care everyone 
Martin x