I lost my life partner of 45 years ,3 months ago and barely managed to get through Christmas but I feel terrified of facing a new year without him.I feel lost and lonely without him he was my best friend,lover,rock and wind beneath my wings.There was nothing he would not do for me,always gave presents for Christmas,birthdays and valentine and never stopped doing it for all the years,I just dont kmow how to carry on without him I am empty,lost and lonely.
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I understand how you feel, i lost my husband 5 weeks ago, he was my everything, my soul mate and my best friend, we were together for 22 years, im really struggling without him as he would be the one i would go to when im feeling down and upset. We were together all the time, my world has been turned upside down and i feel like I can’t go on without him
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Hi Poppet1973
I’m so sorry to hear about your husband. It sounds as though things are very tough and you are feeling really low.
It sounds like you’re looking for support and I’m glad that you’ve been able to share how you’re feeling with us. It is very normal for people who are grieving to feel a bit lost and not know where to start.
We know that a lot of people experience suicidal thoughts when they are grieving, and it is often about wanting the person who has died back or life to go back to how we know it. We have a video about it here which you might find helpful:
https://griefguide.sueryder.org/support/suicide
There is lots of other support out there, and I would really encourage you to reach out and speak to someone about how you are feeling.
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If these thoughts of suicide become overwhelming, please call 999 or contact your GP for an emergency appointment immediately.
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You can call 111 and choose the mental health option to speak to a trained mental health professional (England, Scotland and Wales only)
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Samaritans are available 24/7 to talk about anything that you are worried about in confidence. You can call them on 116 123.
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Shout are contactable by text, 24/7. You can text REMEDY to 85258 and talk to them about anything.
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You can also find your local NHS urgent mental health helpline.
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Sue Ryder offers an online bereavement counselling service. This is a free service and sessions are held via video chat so you can attend from home. There’s more information about this service here: sueryder.org/counselling.
You can also make an appointment with your GP and ask to be referred to counselling or other support services in your area.
You deserve care and support so please, get in touch with one of these services.
Take care, Rhi
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I know exactly what you mean , lost my girl on Nov 4 th .Christmas hadn’t existed this year . I’m sitting here tears in my eyes as I remember her face when I watched her open her presents last year ,
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Thank you for your response ,yes I too keep crying remembering all the gifts he always so generously gave,the new year is scaring me dont know how to go on without him.
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Thank you it is good to chat to someone who understands what I am going through and experiencing the same loss ,we could support each other during our lowest times.
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I know , it’s so hard , I think the worse bit is watching people getting on with their lives while yours has stopped . I’ve had a few bad days this Christmas . Keep hearing the song they played at N funeral
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I know what you are experiencing. I lost my hubby 29/10/24 been together 27 years since I was 17 . He was all I ever known , we done everything together , was always together by each others side and know I feel like a different person I am heartbroken and don’t know how/if it will get any easier
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Hi sparkly diamond I know exactly how you feel,being with the one person for such a time is heart breaking when they gone,we should keep each other strong.
Race I know how you feel about the music I still have not reached the stage of listening to music without breaking down I sometimes wonder why the world is going on and I am left behind,be strong.
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I lost My Mum Then My Husband To Cancer…I have No one…Im Totally Broken…
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Mandy I am so sorry for your loss ,but be assured we are here to support you during this difficult time ,losing a partner is devastating ,I have learnt to take one day at a time some are good others heart rending.
This was the same as my partner…was always so loving and giving, I miss him so much and I am miserably lonely without him💔
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Good morning, this is my first time on this site so i hope i don’t say anything inappropriate. I lost my wife five years ago next month after 35 years. Birthday’s are not to bad but i find Christmas hurts a lot, so much i now go away so that im not on my own, but i still feel as if I’m on my own.
Good day r-gardener,given your first time on the site ,it seems time is a slow process 5 years and your loss at Christmas still hurts,not sure if I would ever try going away on my own,but I am only 4 months on this journey.I have lived through my first birthday and Christmas without him and it was brutal.I do feel for you as one can be surrounded by people and still feel lonely.Know that you have our support and feel free to chat anytime,take care.
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Thank you but at times i wonder if it’s loneliness or loss. We did everything together so now i unfortunately have no close or distant friends. All the people i know are the friends we made on holidays.
It is now 4 months since my husband passed it is just so painful.
Shelly58 we are both 4 months now and it is painful,today my family took me out and when I got home I just sobbed did not feel right without him
I know how you feel , picked up my darts for the first time in ages , went out with friends , then remember N. Will never watch me play again . Got back and spent the rest of the evening in tears
Well done picking up your darts, was the start, going out was another step. Please remember small steps, start a journey, at least you’ve made a start. Well done
Hi this is my first message on this site. I don’t know if it’s going to help but I’m willing to try anything right now as things are becoming too much. I lost my husband of 13 years on 15/12/24. We finally had his funeral day before yesterday and I guess things are becoming very real now. Me myself I’m disabled so he was my registered carer and my daughters main parent. She is 2 and is absolutely devastated and goes in and out of depressive states it’s horrible to watch. So over the last four weeks I’ve had my trauma doubled as I’ve had to find a way to look after both me and my 2 year old which physically is going ok it’s he’ll and is killing me and I’m in constant pain and fatigued but compared to losing Dan my husband it’s nothing. I’m a widow at 30 years old I married him when I was 17 and we have spent 13 years together 24 hours a day. So he wasn’t just my husband he was a part of me. I feel lost and the pain of losing him is constant. My family network is horrific with any emotional support and won’t talk about him as they feel the loss too. Which I can under to an extent but not when I’m begging out for someone anyone to help me. I have never felt so alone in my life. I also had to stop my mental health medication as it tranquillises me and I have to be there for my toddler. My doctor knows this and will eventually get round to making an appointment with me but it’s making my moods unstable. It’s not drastic the mental health side I am way on the safe side of things. I just need to find some help before it gets out of control and the support I need is grief related. What do I do when all I do is think of him. I’m so sad when I wake up and so depressed as I can’t even have dreams of him. I live in his aftershave just so I can feel him near me. I have no idea what a future would look like without him although I do have my daughter which 80% of the time can bring me out of the really bad moments. And it gives me hope as I know I have her. But… it doesn’t help when I get in those moments where I just want to curl up in a ball and cry. To the outside world I have to show I am strong enough to take care of my daughter and I am. I just can’t break as if I break I’m scared I wound come back from it. I’m so sorry for the longest message in the world. I hope I’m ok sending this and not breaking any rules. I just thought I’d write it and hit send see what happens