Loss of a Mum

After 2 years of full time caring, I lost my mum on June 4th… since then I feel like my life has no purpose… i’m trying to rebuild my life, but I’m buckled with guilt at the life she doesn’t have anymore. I’m crippled with fear around the way she died and the thought that I may have let her down. I just don’t know where I go from here, life suddenly feels like it’s not for me anymore… desperately wanting someone to tell me, this is a normal stage of grief… please?

Dear @Shen, I am so sorry you have lost your dear mum. What you are feeling is absolutely a normal part of grief for many people. Guilt is often one of the most common emotions, because you love them so much and don’t want them suffering, and when they do, you think it might be your fault. It isn’t. You tried your best, please do not feel guilty, your mum was proud of you. There is a post by @alan60 titled “Struggling to cope with my Mum’s passing”, please read that post, like you he looked after his mum and now has difficulty finding meaning to life, by talking to him and people there, it might help you.

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Life is a beautiful thing, I went cycling along some of the most amazing scenery yesterday. My mother, who died on July 27th would have loved it if only she were alive. When you have seen death you appreciate every inch of life, and can never take it for granted or waste it and everything living on our beautiful planet has a role to help all life continue so those that come after us can share and enjoy it just as those that came before us have done for us. Life is precious and death has certainly taught me that. Take care, be alive.

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Hi Shen
I don’t know if you did read my post,but i can relate to a lot of the things that you mention.Since my Mum passed away in May,i too feel totally lost,as like you, i was my Mum’s full time carer.Everyday now just seems so empty without Mum in my life.I too feel like i just don’t want to be here anymore so i guess that is just a normal part of grieving.I hope that it helps you a little bit just to know that other people are feeling the same emotions that you are and that they are completely normal.It is still such a short amount of time since our Mum’s passed and everybody tells me to just give yourself time.I am still in tears every day but i think that it is better to let it out rather than bottle everything up.I receive counselling over the phone and i am told that what i am feeling and going through is normal.Everybody grieves in different ways Just take one day at a time,that is what i am doing
.take care and look after yourself.


Thank you for replying, I will read your post for sure. It’s comforting to know we’re not alone… I keep being told that as time passes it’ll weigh less, but right now it’s heavier and as painful as ever, and the pain only intensifies. I hope your doing as ok as you can be, your mum wouldn’t want you to cut your life short because hers was. X