Loss of a second mum

I recently lost my nanny. She was like a second mum to me and we were so close. She went so suddenly within 3 days in hospital and I wasn’t ready to say goodbye. All I can think of is her in hospital because that’s easier than remembering good memories because they hurt too much. I didn’t get to say the things I wanted to say to her and for that I’ll always feel guilty. Im not eating properly, not looking after myself, don’t care about my hygiene or appearance, don’t want to see anyone, couldn’t be bothered doing anything but sleeping or watching TV. I feel like so much of my life was spent with her that I feel a giant empty space that can never be filled. I’m always thinking about her and it hurts so much. Life around me is moving on but I’m stuck and I’m angry that people close to me don’t understand why. Any advice from granddaughters that were close to their nannies? Thank you x

Hello Bambi,

I’m so sorry to hear of the recent loss of your nanny. It sounds like you had such a close and loving relationship and it’s understandable that you’re feeling stuck and having a difficult time, particularly as you mention that this all happened very suddenly.

The feelings you’ve talked about are all very common when you’re grieving and they crop up in this community all of the time. We have an article that might be worth a read about coping with bereavement that also talks about a number of these emotions and how to cope with them: https://www.sueryder.org/how-we-can-help/someone-close-to-me-has-died/advice-and-support/how-can-i-cope-with-bereavement

There are other community members here who have spoken about losing a grandparent. I’ll link a couple of recent conversations here, in case you want to have a look:

Take care and let me know if there’s anything we can do to support you.