Loss of a son

It’s nearly 17 months since my son took his own life it’s just like yesterday it happens during the grief feels like it’s eating me up slowly the pain of losing my son never ends I have seven other sons I have grand children but I just don’t no how to take control of the grief yes I no I have to go on for the sons I still have here but when does the pain in your heart and soul stop my heart is broken for the son I lost

Dear Jacky33

I can’t even begin to imagine what you must have been through since your son took his own life. The pain you feel must at times be unbearable. I wished there was something I could do to lighten your burden of grief.

Have you been in contact with other mothers who have suffered a similar loss? I have read a lot of posts on this site since in the last year of people who grieve the loss of someone who took their own life. If you type ‘suicide’ in the search option at the top of this page, you will see some of these posts.

As well as posting here, there is also an organisation called Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide, that offers a helpline, local support groups and online support: https://uksobs.org/

I hope that you will find the support you need.


Dear Jacky

I’m so sorry you’ve lost a son. I’m the same - my son died in October 2019. He was 30. Shortly afterwards my nephew took his own life. He was 32.

I meditate using the Headspace app. I’ve never meditated before but I’ve found it invaluable in calming the grief- putting it to rest for a while.

As parents I don’t think we ever get used to the pain but we learn to live with it. I’ve another son and grandchildren and stepchildren- I’m part of their lives and I can make a positive difference to them.

My son in heaven is called Henry. He’s waiting for me and I know he’s at peace.

Keep posting here as there are wonderful people here who can support you.

Be kind to yourself Jacky.

Hugs and love