I lost my son a couple of months before Xmas 2024, the pain is unbelievable, I miss him so much. We were close, spoke most days, even through his 4 years of illness and on days when he wasnt so good he’d still call to check if I was ok. He was very brave, I am so proud at how he coped with all the horrible treatment that was thrown at him, and he never moaned, never complained, he took it all and just got on with it. It just seems so unfair, he was a lovely person, kind, generous, do anything to help you out, he was funny too, he’d make a point of making me laugh when he rang, sometimes I knew he wasnt feeling too good yet he still wanted to make me feel happy, so unfair to lose such a sweet boy. I’ll never get over it, I miss him every minute of every day, I just wish I could have him back. Having read some of the messages on here I know lots of you are feeling the same as me, its hard, some days I dont know if I’ll cope. It comes over me like a wave, it’s just suddenly too much to bear, the tears come and then I can think of nothing else, it passes…untill the next time. At least now I have found you all I could maybe come and talk to you and see if that helps.
Please come back and talk to us again. We are all living in hell but sharing our experiences helps a little.
I wonder how you are getting on now, as you haven’t posted again. I understand completely how you are feeling with the waves of grief. My son died at the end of November and it has destroyed us. I am devastated and cry for hours every day. People say to keep busy but it’s as much as I can do to get out of bed. Do you have close family and are they supporting you?
Christians anniversary is coming up on the 22nd of feb it will have been 2years x not a minute goes by without him in my thoughts x no it doesn’t get easier it hurts more because it’s longer since you were with them x
I wish i could go back too and somehow change things. I just cannot see a life ahead without my son, my absolute world
Yesterday hurt like hell x
We all feel the same x
We are all in this together. We understand each other’s grief. I find a lot of people just don’t understand the devastation that the loss of a child brings. I have lost various people over the years, and it has been very sad, but I honestly think the death of a child is the worst thing.
I know you are going through the same pain, I’m not saying mine is more than yours, it’s what gone on since that I just don’t understand my husband had a bad fall just over 12 months ago breaking a full rack of ribs on his left side he was in intensive care had to go through life saving surgery, at the same time I was diagnosed with secondary cancer with onknown primary. 12 months later exactly 2 years yesterday since we lost Christian we are both still here ! But I feel he is calling us and we can’t reach him x it’s so difficult because I ha ve a beautiful daughter and two beautiful granddaughters xx
I like to think I have a strong faith, but my god your pushing me too far! I
My boy was 25 when we lost him to Duchenne muscular dystrophy and never once did he complain or say why me or it’s not fair, so what right do I have to complain or feel sorry for myself? I am now trying to recover after treatment but also a full time carer To my husband, so now I think my purpose in gods eyes is to look after all who I have too x
It sounds like you have had a terrible time wih all the things that have happened, one after another. I’m so sorry to hear about what you are going through. X
It is the worse , we don’t expect to lose them as we are suppose to go first. the utter shock and devastation is a living hell. It’s natural to lose a parent, sibling or friend but parents don’t expect for one minute their children will go before them x
Agree that most don’t understand. Someone said to me today that their friend lost their mum and I said respectfully you cannot compare the two, the natural progression is for parents to go first.
I am 18 months in and the waves of grief come and go. Work helps and my dogs who need me and my eldest son but when I look at his photo as I do everyday it makes me smile or cry and I talk to him and he’s always with us. I will always talk about him every day.
Sending you thoughts and to be gentle with yourself.
I had another dreadful morning, having woken up with the jitters, and I found it so hard to get going. But things seemed to improve throughout the day. This evening I was actually smiling at some old mobile phone footage on a USB stick (found amongst Simon’s possessions). It was film of my son and his friends in their teens, messing about and playfighting in the local woods. There’s a bit of lager drinking and smoking going on too. The camerawork is jerky and a lot of the film is blurred, but there are some nice shots of Simon and I can hear his voice too. It is really comforting to see my son enjoying himself. Perhaps these are the sorts of memories to concentrate on now, rather than thinking too much about the last few months of his life.