Hi all I’m new to this I’m keeley I’m 33.ive recently lost my beautiful nan who was like my mom and best friend wrapped into one. I was born to a young mom she was 14 when she had me and my dad’s mom (Nan) became a safe space for me for the next 32 years of my life. I’ve had some challenges growing up regarding family and always felt like the black sheep so to loose my nan at the young age of 67 was a massive shock. I’m really struggling with grief as recently a lot of the family have distanced and she was the only person holding me together. I am a mother myself to 5 and my children keep me going everyday. But the pain and grief I feel not bein able to pick up the phone during my worries, problems or walk round to her house to see her is killing me. Also my grandad( her husband) is struggling so I’m tryin to juggle keeping my head above water and taking care of him. I’ve felt lost these past 13 months. I’m a very empathetic person and cried terrible when I found this site and seein how many people are struggling with grief. This is my first big loss and the biggest I’d probley ever have as she was the only person who was my safe haven. I feel like a scared vulnerable child again.
Hello Keekey5885, so sorry for the loss of your nan, losing a parent, which your nan was to you is truly heartbreaking 
to have lost that special person that raised you and loved you is so very hard to accept..i lost my husband in March, and trying to live without my precious husband has been the saddest moments of my life..i have 2 adult children and 2 grandkids that keep me going. …please take care of yourself and may God bless you and your family..
Hi keekey, i really feel for you loosing your beloved Nan that you were so close to the pain is unbearable,im a grandad and lost my wife 21 st December 25 and my grandchildren are totally lost without there “Nan”she lived for here grandchildren and great grand children ,so I understand your loss.your grandad is n the same position as myself so he needs all the care and love you can give him.take it from me when he is alone at night he will be devastated ,give him all the time you can Keekey that’s what he holds in his heart the time spent with you.all my best to you and your Grandad try to be strong for each other but it’s the most heartbreaking thing imaginable ,regards Dave