Hey, new to the forum and seeking people’s personal experiences on how to deal with grief. I understand it’s different for every individual but I feel as if I am not moving forward with mine.
So six months ago my best friend passed away suddenly after a driver run him off his bike. The first few weeks felt like a blur but the last few months I feel like I have been in complete denial. As if I’m not facing reality. Subconsciously I know he’s not here anymore, but I don’t feel like consciously it’s confirmed for me. I recently got into a new job and have been throwing myself completely in but finding no time for myself, I am exhausted every single day, I can’t concentrate and my managers pressure me into taking overtime. Because of the nature of my job I felt I couldn’t tell them about my grief because they wouldn’t allow me to work if they felt I couldn’t handle the pressure. So not only that, my cousin took his own life March just gone and it’s all getting too much. I feel like I’m not expressing myself in ways I should be, I feel nothing and just lack complete empathy for others which is very unlike me. I am also awaiting the court date for the guy who killed my dearest friend which is next month and I’m feeling anxious about it.
I’m just at a loss, I am aware I am neglecting myself in the sense of not taking me time or looking after my overall health. I know these are very important things that I need to be doing but I just can’t find the motivation. I was just wondering if there’s any advice out there as to how I can emotionally move forward with myself? I just feel stuck.
If anybody can offer any advice it would be highly appreciated, as mentioned above I understand entirely everybody goes through grief in different ways but anything would be a massive uplift.