Loss of Brother and Uncle

Hi all,

Firstly, I’ll just give a little background.

Three weeks ago, my Mum found her younger brother (my beloved Uncle) passed away in bed. Of course, it was a complete shock and unexpected. Things have not been easy at all, not that I’d expect it to be easy.

She is struggling beyond comprehension. She’s now starting to eat properly, something she hadn’t done for about a week and half, which I’m only too glad of. The main thing I’m struggling with is the lack of empathy and sympathy being shown to her by my father. They’ve been married 36 years, and although like chalk and cheese, they have stuck together.

I find that my mother is very open with her emotions and her feelings, and my father seems too closed off. I feel that he didn’t even show emotion when his parents died. I’m starting to think that he doesn’t know how to express emotion. This is impacting on my mother as she feels that he is not showing any care or compassion towards her. He’s certainly not been asking her if she’s ok, which has really been getting to her. I’ve told him to check in with her, even if it’s just every so often, but he’s just choosing not to. I’m also struggling as my Uncle has been part of my life for 33 years and I’m also going through a miscarriage.

Has anyone got any advice that can possibly help in this situation?

Thanks in advance.

Hello @Sash32175497 ,

I can see that you’re new to the community, so I wanted to say that I am so sorry for the loss of your uncle and devastated to hear you are going through a miscarriage.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that may help right now.

You may also find Sands - Stillbirth and Neonatal Death Society https://www.sands.org.uk/ a good source of support - remember you need support too.

When it comes to something as tough as grief, it can be hard to know what to say or do that might help someone you love. Our Grief Kind campaign has lots of resources that can help and may be of use to help you support your mum.

I also wanted to share with you - Sands - Stillbirth and Neonatal Death Society https://www.sands.org.uk/.

Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.

Take care,

Alex