Loss of dad and supporting mum

Hello, I am new here. I lost my lovely dad suddenly to a heart attack just over a year ago, he died in his sleep. I have two young children and live about 40 minutes from my mum, they were married over 47 years, I call her everyday and visit at least once a week but she’s so lonely, she has good friends and is member of a few clubs but she misses him so much and tells me the days are long and she can’t accept that this is her life now. I feel so bad for her and I don’t know what more I can do, I hate that she is on her own, I miss my dad too, but have distractions of my children. I often feel I have put my grief to one side so I can support her, it’s all so hard, she is so grateful for all I do but I just feel guilty I’m not doing enough.

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I know how you feel i lost my dad 6 months ago an i feel like i need to support my mum an if im doin enough its just so hard everything you said resonates with me an im grieving to but sometimes feel like my mum forgets that.

Thank you for your reply, I am sorry for your loss too, it’s a pain like no other. I also feel like I’ve become the parent, it’s the first time where she needs me more, I feel so thinly stretched trying to look after a 10 and 5 year old, being a wife too, my days and weeks run away and yet my mums days are so long :persevere:
I love my mum dearly but there is a part of me that hopes she doesn’t live for too many years as I know she just wants to be with him and I so hope that true, that he’s waiting for her again x

My Dad died 3 years ago from cancer, I didn’t get to grieve him properly as I took on sole caring of my mum and also had a full time job. My mum died in January and now I feel like I’m grieving for them both at once. I have never felt as lonely as I do now and am suffering from insomnia.

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