In February of this year my ex- husband was diagnosed with an aggressive Grade 4 brain tumour. He underwent surgery, and although me and my children knew it was terminal we had been told he probably had 12-18 months before his condition deteriorated.
Very sadly that wasn’t to be the case, and after only a month after his surgery he needed carers before having to move into a nursing home after a further admission to hospital.
His tumour affected his vision, with him being almost blind, his personality and levels of aggression.
It was both difficult, sad and painful to watch.
Although we had been divorced for 23 years we saw each other regularly in the early days as we had two children.
He sadly passed away after only 7 months and died last month. It was too early and cruel
His family graciously made me welcome at his funeral but I hadnt anticipated how much his passing would affect me. I feel so terribly sad. I feel upset for my children as they have been robbed of their father. I also feel guilty for leaving him now. Although we both agreed it was for the best I now feel really confused.
I remarried, he never did, and it feels disloyal to my husband to grieve for my ex.
Tebby, of course you are mourning your ex. You had a life with him and have 2 of his children. It is a huge loss. My husband’s ex came to the funeral. Goofy people were questioning her presence, but I told them all that the only people here are those that loved my husband and all were welcome to come and say goodbye. This was a day to honor him, his life, and it was all love.
The ex and his step daughter from that marriage were both in tears and mourning, I felt sorry for them too.
It is okay, you aren’t diminishing your new marriage by mourning his death. You are normal. On top of it all, your kids are mourning and that makes your heart ache too.
You are alright.
My heart is breaking for my children too, you’re right. I was with them when their Dad passed away. Thankfully we had secured him a bed in a hospice. It was very peaceful and he had never regained consciousness after suffering a bleed 10 days earlier.
His funeral was on Monday. It was good to share memories and to feel all the love amongst the sadness.
Im sorry for your loss too. Thank you so much for sharing 
It’s all love.