Loss of father and miscarriage

Coping with bereavement
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Sadly my father passed away on 24th August, then unfortunately 9 days later I was told my baby had no heartbeat and I’d had a silent miscarriage.
My baby had sadly died before my father left us unknowingly to me.
I feel so bloody lost and confused right now :cry: I just wish I knew what to do with myself.

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I am so very sorry. What a dreadful time for you to go through. It may not help but I hope it does. I believe that your father has gone to care for your baby and they are together now. They will always be a part of you and will watch over you, giving you the strength to carry on.

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I’m so sorry to hear about those two huge losses, so close together. You must be totally at sea. I don’t have any advice, being pretty lost and confused myself, but please know that all your feelings are valid and that you deserve care and kindness. X

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Hi, this is what I keep telling myself! They are both together and I believe when it’s my turn I will see them both again :heart: Thank you kindly for your message it means a lot. I hope you’re well.

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Hi, I’m so sorry to hear you’re not feeling too good either. Sadly these things are sent to try us. Thank you kindly for your message.

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Thank you for posting this. The same thing happened to me. I know it’s been years, but how did you cope with this? I’m seeing a therapist, but I don’t know anyone who’s gone through this at the same time.

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I’m so sorry you’re going through this too. Nine days after losing my dad, I found out I’d had a silent miscarriage. I’d completely forgotten I’d written this post until I saw your reply. Looking back, I think I was in such shock and just reaching out for some support.

The honest answer is that I muddled through, one day at a time. I got up and showed up as best I could, whatever that looked like that day. I tried to be kind to myself, allowed myself to feel the emotions and leant on people when I needed support. Keeping busy helped too, but I also gave myself room to grieve.

I know “time” can feel like such an unhelpful answer when you’re hurting, but for me, it has softened the rawness. Little by little, I rebuilt. Those losses are part of who I am and what I’ve been through, and I’ll always carry them with me, but they don’t define all of me.

For me, the most important thing was getting up and showing up, not expecting myself to be okay, just taking the next small step when I could. Some days that was very little, and that was enough. There’s no timetable and no right way to do this. Please be gentle with yourself. You’re carrying so much. Sending you love :heart: