I feel a bit of a fraud seeing that people have lost sons/daughters/sisters etc
But
I lost a colleague. I was her manager but she was a friend as well. Her funeral was Wednesday . I just feel broken. I was quite involved with her throughout. Helping her sort finances etc and I hope I was some comfort.
I can’t seem to get past it
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Dear @MemberR
Welcome to the Community, I apologise for the delay in responding. I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your colleague. You are not a fraud as bereavement is for everyone from family, friends, colleagues, acquaintances and pets.
You are still very much in the early stages of grief, and it is a rollercoaster ride with good days and bad days and more often than we like we tend to relive the moment on the bad days. I can see you were not only your colleague’s manager but also a friend and a good one at that by helping her with everything. This would have brought great comfort to her knowing you were there for her. We all need friends like you during our darkest and difficult times.
You need to take one day at a time and be gentle with yourself, it is ok to cry. Sue Ryder does have a Grief Guide which may be of help to you and help you understand and cope with your bereavement and grief. You can connect with members here who have been in a similar situation as yourself by typing the topic in the search bar.
I see by your Profile you work for the NHS; you can contact the staff hub for support if your Trust has one (most Trusts do) for someone to talk to. You are not alone, and support is there for you.
Please continue to reach out, we are all here for you.
Take care.
Pepsi
Thank you. That’s really lovely