I lost my nan back in July. It was sudden and we still have no answers to what went wrong. I’m really struggling with coming to terms with it as she was my go to person. The one I would call about everything, the person who could help me do the right thing. It’s my first Christmas without her and I’m just going through the emotions for my son. The hardest part is not being able to video call her while he opens the presents and she watches and ends up being on the phone for over an hour. I think what makes it harder is because the coroner has been delayed from January to April and I feel like I can’t let it rest until I know what’s happened.
Hello @Miller17,
Thank you for so bravely sharing this with the community. I’m so sorry to hear about your nan.
I hope you find the community to be a support to you. Many of our members have experienced the death of their grandparent and will understand some of what you’re going through. I’m not sure if you’ve seen our Losing a grandparent category. But there you will find lots of conversations from other members who are coping with their grief. You may find some comfort in knowing you are not alone.
You may also find these Sue Ryder resources helpful right now.
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Our Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief
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Our Bereavement Information pages which can walk you through what you are going through
Important dates can feel extra hard, but we’re here to help if you need us.
If you do find yourself needing extra support this Christmas, please visit our online bereavement support at sueryder.org/support The community is here for you, too.
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support too.
Keep reaching out and take care 
Alex
Really miss my step nan today. Tomorrow is your anniversary and I still feel your absence
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It’s really hard, was my nans 6 month anniversary yesterday 
. I hope you are able to have a day to remember her tomorrow.
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Really tough tonight
It must be especially hitting the 1st year.
When I think of her then it’s really hard because I loved her so much
Yeah I totally understand, I was really close to mine as well. It’s like losing a parent not a grandparent.
Don’t know what to feel
Sobbed this morning
Try and think of all the happy memories you have with her. It really does help 
.
Emotions are strong today
My thoughts are with you as you navigate loss
Nights are painful
Grandmas gone 16th 16.15pm