Hi all ,i sadly lost my Hubby in December, he was 59 years old same age as myself, im finding it realy hard at the moment, these last few days i seem to be going backwards instead of forwards, i hate the lonely nights on my own, any advice will be thankfully accepted, sorry for your losses too .
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Hello Milliemoo.
How are you today? I wish I had a few words of encouragement or wisdom because it’s truly awful when you get periods of intensified distress isn’t it. Everything is very new, though to other people 3 months seems like a long time. I just thought I’d drop you a line and say I truly empathize and am sending compassionate thoughts. I really hope you’ve had a bit of respite or a lull in the period since you posted, even if just for a short while.
Hi Milliemoo, I too lost my husband on 20/12/18. He was 57 years old and had been fighting Cancer for almost 6 years. He had been through so much and initially I felt a sense of relief that it was all over for him. I have two great children and supportive family and friends and initially I felt that i was coping well. However these past couple of weeks the overwhelming sadness has really hit me. I miss him so much and like you i find the evenings so empty and lonely. Friends are inviting me out but I feel so sad when i am the odd one with other couples and there is that empty chair at the table. I am sure as people say, it will get better in time, but I just wanted to let you know that I understand exactly how you are feeling right now.
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I really cannot give you any answers . I can sypathise with the lonliness and the confusion . My wife died on 11th of dec and it has been painful ever since . Some days it just comes from no where and eats your insides out
On the outside its normality and looking as if life gors on This is mainly to help others as on the inside it is turmoil . Every thought in the world has gone through my head but not one l could remotely describe as an answer . All l can offer is understanding
Hello milliemoo. I too lost my husband in December and understand completely what you are experiencing. This crazy situation we find ourselves in is the hardest, cruellest thing I have ever had to deal with and at times I think it has beaten me and that I am about to lose my sanity. Tonight I feel calm and in control but always at the back of my mind I know that suddenly the overwhelming grief and utter sense of hopelessness may reappear at any moment and then all I can think about is desperately wanting to be with my husband and want to believe that his death hasn’t really happened and any minute he’ll be here. I have made progress as that sense of utter despair is no longer all the time and I think that is because I have found the strength to go out of my comfort zone very gradually, a small step at a time . Initially not only was this something I thought I couldn’t do I was furious that I was in this position and consumed by anger and felt like I was bursting inside. Deep down I new I had to do it or else this would destroy me and as much as I want to be with my husband I know that he would want me to try and carry on without him and be happy. So that’s what is working for me albeit very slowly. Going out of my comfort zone entailed joining a walking group where I didn’t know anyone and it was hard going to meet so many strangers and for a couple of weeks I really didn’t want to be there but I persevered and now I am beginning to make friends and look forward to going to see them. I feel pleased with myself and so much more confident. I have gone on to join a couple of other things since then and feel so much better. Don’t get me wrong it’s not a miracle cure but I do hope you can find the strength to try and break this awful cycle of desperation that you find yourself in, your worth it.
Leesa