loss of husband and advice

hello Cynthonia, i lost my husband 8 weeks ago and your description fits my husbands exactly. the anguish on his face is something i still can’t get out of mind morning and night. but yesterday for the first time i remembered a happy time. so things will start to improve for us both. sending love

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OMG, i feel so alone! My darling husband at 61 year old cared for me for 5 months, after i had slip but kneecap shattered and leg lower broke. After 9 pins and plates, knee collapsed and husband collapsed November & died 10 weeks later. He was 6’8.5 and a huge loving gentle giant. I miss hjn so verg much and have had to move counties re financial problems- another surprise- :cry: :sleepy: :tired_face: what is the point of life, have autistic step son and no other children and only brother lives Africa. So lonely and completely head fogged? Anyone else???

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Poor you. So sorry for your loss :(.its so very hard without them.isnt it ! And youre very.early on in your loss. Be kind to yourself. So very hard to lose man you love i know , my.husband was just 60 xx

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oh, so so sorry - feeling bereft awful amid tragic circumstances! Grief is a journey we somehow have to navigate alone and it constant isnt it? Goes on and on and on! Feeling for you and urging you to keep reaching out to this wonderful community. sending love x

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@Deb5 I have just booked a four night stay in Dublin with a friend for March . I am doing things I have never done . I have to plan for things to help take away a little bit of my pain

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Nice :slight_smile: been to dublin - its good. I went on.3 holidays last year ! Running away from the pain. This year not as urgent but im hoping to enjoy something later in year … we have.to do whatever is best for us. Decided to decorate my lounge. That’s gonna take some time :slight_smile: xx

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Another morning, another day! Comes over me in waves and permanence of it still sinking in! Still cant get thebreathing images out of my head! At home Tony is everywhere yet nowhere. The world goes on as normal and I kerp thinking people living normal lives dont know my husband has died!! Nearly 5 weeks now and still so raw! the Funeral is on Feb 2nd ( Christmas and NY plus other family commitment delayed this) and am now wondering how I will cope after it over and have to live rest of my life without him! All really kicking in now xx

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You will cope ! I am so much further on and the grief is like a bag you carry with you every day . Some days it’s so heavy it weighs you down so be kind to yourself and rest . Another day it may feel lighter so get out and walk - meet a friend - have a coffee . You will manage the funeral with family and friends support but don’t look too far ahead as that really is no help . Your man will live on in you as long as you do and in time that will be a comfort I promise :two_hearts: Look after yourself xx

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@Deb5 good luck with the lounge . I have done a bit of remodelling to house as well . Lots more to do on that front. I think my bedroom is the next project xxx

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Thank you Susan that so comforting! xx

Finished ceiling today - it was brown ! Took me 3 coats ! I will sleep tonight ! Soon as i finished though i just thought how much i miss my husband so much … just being here :frowning: x

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for 5 days i haven’t cried, i thought at last i am starting to recover then the last 3 days i have just sobbed and sobbed. Any little song on the radio or any little memory sets me off in floods. don’t want to get out of bed, back to square one.
Has anyone been to grief counceling and did it help?

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Yeh i did, had 10 sessions. It does help :slight_smile: everything is so topsy turvy on this world of grief ! One minute youre ok then next youre not :frowning: xx

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Hi there, many days I cry usually first thing in the morning but then it can go off and sometimes not. I am trying not to feel guilty about it and be kinder to myself, will take a while. Got a councillor phoning me from my GP so will take it from there and see how I go and get back to you, sending love and hugs, you are not alone xxx

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thank you jantee x

Im having grief councelling and it does seem to help when I am there as she is a really lovely lady. Not too sure if its really helping me though, although Ive had so many things go wrong since my darling husband passed away in June that Im finding it really hard to cope. Leaking radiators and floods, boiler condemed so no heating or hot water for 2 weeks, fences blown down in gales. new boiler fitter a month ago now today no heating or hot water. Health issues as well. Just not a happy bunny at the moment. Lifes so bleddy hard isnt it without your loved one by your side. xxx

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oh my goodness know just how you feel - winter not good and noone to share with! It a horrible journey to take! nearly 6 weeks for me now and still cant get the awful breathing images out of my head. Do hope the not ingrained for ever!! Trying so hard to forge a new identity but not doing very well! sending love to all xx

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Yes @AnnieG1 it is hard without them. How do people do it ? I was saying to a guy i know this morning who lives by himself ( seperated) that he does so well by himself. i struggle with the company or lack of it and the love :frowning: you had a rough ride for sure all those things going wrong !! Bless you. Keep talking on here xx

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can I ask - when did everyone start sorting spouse’s (husband’s) clothes? Heartbreaking isnt it? x

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Not done it a year on :frowning: i cant … given some of his football tops to family so they can remember him but ive had to leave all his stuff in the wardrobe ! You dont have to do it you know . Whats the rush ? As somebody said to me a while ago you will do it when youre ready xx

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