Hello Everyone,
i lost my husband march 24 he was only 62 and had a heart attack, it has been 1 year 2 months, and it still seems not real, like it was yesterday, I wish things would get better but they don’t, he was my absolute soul mate, I feel the pain of that day to this. My heart goes out to you all who have lost, it is just heartbreaking, I wish I could comfort you all. I just long for the next life and maybe I will be with him again. sending you all love and hope.
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Hi @ram7,
Thank you so much for sharing this with the community 
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I just wanted to let you know that you have been heard and you are not alone.
Take good care,
Alex
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This is my concern that I will still be feeling this awful heartbreak in a years time. My husband passed this March and I feel each day is getting my grief is getting worse. I hate my “new life”
My thoughts are with you and all of us in this “club” that none of us wish to be in
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Ram and Heart, I am so very sorry that your husbands died. It is an Earth shattering, life-altering, traumatic event. You have every reason to, and should be, grieving. You are completely normal, It is okay to grieve, and there is no time limit on grief.
Heart, I know, I hate widowhood too. It has been 32 weeks for me and I remember almost nothing of the first four months. You are going to be alright, I promise. Just not yet. Take each day hour by hour. Pay the bills, eat nutritious food, keep the pets alive and rest. Everything else can wait. Do not pressure yourself to do anything and don’t make any commitments.
It is a long process and you are in the early stage and it is raw, confusing, scary, anxiety producing, insomnia, no appetite, buried in an avalanche of added responsibilities, and unable to speak in complete sentences,. depressing, listless, hopeless, like walking in circles in a dense fog while maniacally cleaning the home.
You will get to better days with each step you take.
Keep a notebook in which you make a list of 5 things you must accomplish each day, do them, mark them off. Also, write down all the information that you will need later, like phone numbers/names. It is a reminder that you are, in fact, functioning.
At the end of the week, you will have accomplished 35 things, 150 in a month. Baby steps will win in the long run.
None of us will ever get over the loss of our husbands, we will grieve for the rest of our lives, but the physical pain will lessen, the fog will lift and the tears will not fall everyday.
ram, i got you. It is like a million years ago, or yesterday that my husband died. You are still in shock, my friend, it is a very traumatic event. The only way out of this is to accept that you must create a new life and a good one. Some widows move, some downsize, some purge their home - all to create their own space and not live in a museum of the past. We are the only ones that can pull ourselves up and I can only imagine that your husband, like Heart’s, would never, ever want for you to mourn your life away.
You will come out of it, step by step.
You will adapt. You will learn to live a good life despite the loss.
It is okay to live again. And, we all will.
Love
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I am just under a year on from losing my husband. I still have everything of his and have no intention of clearing out or changing things as it all gives me comfort, like he is still around me. I don’t see this as living in a museum of the past at all but it’s my way of coping. Everyone is different, everyone will find their way of working through and living with the immense pain. There is no wrong way.
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@Sandie5 your post could be mine except read “wife” and i too get great comfort from my wife’s possessions. I don’t wish to wipe my dear wife from my life but now try to enjoy my daughter, grand children and great grandchildren more.
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