I have looked at this site for the past few weeks and this is the first time I have posted anything. My husband passed away 8 weeks ago and I am finding it so difficult, I always considered myself quite a strong person but the depth of the emotion I am feeling has absolutely floored me. The whole situation with COVID is making a bad time so much worse. I feel so alone and frightened of the future without him. I just wanted to speak to people who understand what I am feeling, I feel like my life has ended. I have lost parents and friends before but the grief I felt then has no comparison to what I am feeling now. We were together 32 years and I can’t stop crying at the thought of a life without him.
Hello Christy,
I’m so sorry to hear about your very recent loss.
I’m glad that you’ve been able to share how you are feeling here, and I hope that you find the community a good source of support. Everyone here has experienced the loss of a loved one and will understand some of what you are going through.
Sue Ryder offers an online bereavement counselling service. This is a free service and sessions are held via video chat so you can attend from home. There’s more information about this service here: www.sueryder.org/counselling
Another good place to get support is Cruse Bereavement, they offer a helpline, email support, and counselling and support groups through their local services: 0808 808 1677, helpline@cruse.org.uk, http://www.cruse.org.uk/bereavement-services.
Please continue to post, I am confident that our lovely members will come on and offer support too.
Take care,
Audrey,
Online Community team
Dear Christy,
I too lost my husband of 35 years very suddenly at the end of October, he was only 61 and like you I feel totally lost & so frightened without him. Please know that you are not alone, I have found great solace from talking to and reading posts on here as so many sadly understand… I can’t offer toouch advise as I am in a very similar state except to say, we’ll take little steps together to get through this somehow & try not to look ahead as far too scary at the moment. Sending a big hug xxxx
Dear Billslove
Thank you for taking the time to reply. At times I feel like I am going mad. My husband and I had been shielding since March due to his chest condition and so had been together 24/7 for the previous 8 months. Although his health had been poor for a number of years, his death was quite sudden. Due to COVID I couldn’t be with him in hospital and I feel terrible that he died alone.
Christy
Dear Christy.
Sorry to hear that you have lost your husband,
Good you have decided express some of the feeling you are experiencing now, it will help at least to take it out of your chest or mind.
this open wound it is so raw,
It is nothing wrong to let your feelings out,
You don’t have to be strong or manage your situation in a exemplary way as probably some family or friend think a grieving person should do.
Unfortunately for some of us in here our life have ended the way we used to, everything has changed i mean everything our routine, shoping, friends, even the small things we do at home and it is when we missed our loved one.
Grief is very personal so please don’t be hard on yourself the pain of losing our partner it is so painful that nothing can be compare with it.
I would say that most of us are feeling as you clearly have said " alone and frightened " with him or her because it is a new life that we have live. We have been force to live without them while everything around us remind us that they cannot be with us.
Christy it is not that you finding the situation difficult , it is difficult to face a extremely painful situation when everything has drastically changed and filling a rollercoaster of emotions while society think that it is easy and we must put a brave face.
Christy cry, why not? Crying It is not a weekness it is the result of have our life taken away suddently , frustration, pain, hopes , plans that would never be done and realise that we couldn’t or cannot do anything about it.
Couple peoples in the wake told me " one day at the time ", to be honest there have been days that i have a cup of tea sitting without know what to do feeling totally lost, and literally doing nothing as many thought, flashback, memories, revisiting events take all my time.
Christy dont be afraid of how you are feeling dont force yourself to be strong just be you.
You are not alone, in this community we try to support each other.
Hugs xx
Oh Christy,
Covid has made a terrible situation so much worse including our loneliness. But with a bond as strong as yours was, you would have been in his heart & he would not have wanted you to put yourself at risk.
Our lives as we knew we hem have just imploded & as Devi said, nothing prepares you for that sort of devastation
Be kind to yourself & keep reaching out.
I am only surviving by doing that xxxx