Hi All.
I have just joined this group. I lost my husband after 4 weeks and 1 day of being diagnosed. he passed away May 2024. I am really struggling and have been ill since this happened. I have not been able to return to work yet . My husband’s birthday is coming up 18th and I don’t know how I am going to manage. I am lost in all ways.
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Hi @Mazda,
I’m Kate, a member of the Sue Ryder Online Community team, and I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling. I’m so sorry to hear about your husband. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support. In the meantime, you may wish to look at these Sue Ryder resources which might be helpful.
- Our Grief Guide is a self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you cope with your grief
- Our Grief Coach text message service, which sends you personalised text support via SMS
- Our free Online Bereavement Counselling which is held via video chat (please note, due to demand there is a significant waitlist for this service but a member of the team will contact you as soon as possible)
- Our Bereavement Information pages can walk you through what you may be experiencing or feeling
I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support, and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.
Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.
Take care,
Kate
Sue Ryder Online Community team
I lost my wife just over a year ago. I have had to get through the first wedding anniversary, the first Christmas, the first everything.
Each event approaching fills me with dread. I worry that I won’t be able to get through the day and the anxiety itself becomes crippling.
Some of the days I have made plans with friends, some days I have decided to to stay home alone, and try to practice self care.
I have discovered that no matter what I do, that the anxiety about the day is far worse than the day itself. I miss her everyday and although some days are more important in my head, actually every day is the same.
Try to plan to do something to celebrate or commemorate him and his life.
Most of all try not to worry too much, as I am sure that you are strong enough to get through, what is after all, just another day.
Hugs x
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Thank you so much for the communication back. Anxiety is a major part , I don’t want to go out, when I am out I want to be home. I will take on board advice and try not to totally break down he would not have wanted that. It is so important to me to know I am not alone. I cannot thank you enough.
Hi Mazda. I lost my husband in May too. Since then I have been through Father’s Day, his birthday and now today my 75th birthday. I think what Hepzebah said is true. The anxiety about the day is worse than the day itself.
We are all in the same situation so you will have support here. Hope the day isn’t as bad as you fear
Hi Woolley.
I have experienced the exact same Father’s Day, my 62nd birthday and now his is coming around so quickly. I have not had time to think straight and he wanted me to let his ashes go in his birthday which is going to be so hard, I promised that I would.
It is still early days for us and I am grateful to know that. I have tried to be strong which was not working and have had poor health since the date he passed. It took a lot to communicate with others and I am glad I took the step to do this. Thank you and big hugs to you .
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hi i am so sorry for your loss and how you are feeling is can i say this quite normal i lost my husband of 47 years 12 weeks ago today and have felt quite ill since then but starting to feel health wise better i speak to Davy my husband every night but cant talk about him as i find it so upsetting i keep myself quite busy during the day which helps me function so my thoughts are with you at this really hard time