Loss of love

I wonder if anyone can help please. So next month is 2 yrs since I lost gregg and am still devastated and a mess when at home when at work , I now work for a cancer charity I’m at peace and love my job. Anyway a friend who is younger than me lost her husband 8 wks ago and I have tried to be supportive and offer advice and bless her she is grateful but she has a brother in law that I reached out too as he was struggling, we have been talking by messenger and I have just tried to be a friend to him as he lives by himself so is lonely, we don’t speak everyday. He told me he is coming to my area to what he says to see family so wanted to meet well I thought fine your lonely and I will see and support you. NOW he’s saying how he can’t wait to meet to spend the weekend together!! And how he really really likes me ! I have tried to say gently dont make plans as you are seeing your family he says well I’m down for 4 days so I can see the family any time !!? HELP please i don’t want to hurt him but
1 I am only going to love one person and he is gone
2 I now feel guilty for his feelings and that he’s travelling so far to see me

What the hell am I going to do x
Thanks

Hi Marie51
What a dilemma. Reaching out and being supportive has sent mixed messages to what is obviously a lonely man. He has picked up your intention of kindness to mean more. On the one hand you dont want to make him sad by telling him how it is but you cant also put your feelings aside to make another person happy. That will never work for you.
Perhaps if your up for it meet just for one day but set your intention from the off. Go to a place you went to with gregg but that wouldnt bother you and talk about how much you miss him and say there could never be anyone else, something like this maybe. I dont know if this helps or hinders

Hello @marie51. You are in a difficult situation simply because of your kindness to others. You seem to be a people pleaser but it is time to put yourself first. You should not have been placed in this awkward situation and it seems all the planning for this visit has been done by others and not of your choosing.
To protect your own heart you need to have a time frame for this visit so that you don’t become bogged down with this man’s problems or needs. Tell him how you still miss Gregg so much and make the conversation about you and Gregg. Hopefully he will get the message. Be kind but firm.
Please let us know how you get on.
Love and light…x

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Thanks all. So I did meet and chat about all stuff but I did make sure I talked about gregg alot. I left after a couple of hrs and made my excuses and too be honest I was feeling guilty being with him even though gregg is no longer here . He has told me he really likes me and that he enjoyed our chat and to be honest he was lovely but he’s not gregg x

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Hi Marie51
At least hopefully he got the message in a nice way. It would be nice to still be able to offer each other comfort from afar as you were.

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