Loss of memory

I have already posted that I found my beloved husband dead on our bedroom floor. It is now 19 weeks on, is it possible that the shock could be still lingering? please. My short term memory is so bad since then, like everyone on this forum I am grieving so deeply for Stan, we had been married 2 weeks short of 59 years. in fact I consider myself to be married to him.
I hope I am not prying, I would be very interested to learn of others’ experiences.
Blessings,
MaryL

Not prying at all, happy to share.
The sudden death of my loved one has left me in a state of shock and disbelief, not denial, but I don’t think I’ll ever get over the shock. That was nearly 2 years ago.
Despite counselling , I can’t sleep or concentrate on anything - reading, driving, T.V .
What happened comes into my head every waking moment and goes round and round. It’s a never ending nightmare.
You are not alone feeling like this… Wishing you peace. Sadme xx

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Same for me mary.
My mum was supposed to be home the day after her surgery. I was tidying her bedroom when I got a call from the hospital to say that something had gone wrong. I never saw mum again.
I know she is gone but the shock is awful still 25 weeks on. I still cant believe it.
You have been through a trauma and your brain is still protecting you.
Cheryl x

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Hi Mary. Oh no!!! 19 weeks may be far too soon for you to begin to feel better. Some do, but very rarely. It takes the time it takes and you should allow it to do so. Please don’t try and hurry yourself along. That’s self defeating and may make you worse. It sounds as if you are getting impatient. You ask if the shock can still be lingering. Of course it can and is. A trauma such as we all have had goes deep. Grief has no time limit or a limit in it’s intensity or pain. There are many who come on here who are still suffering after years. Now that is not to say you will. Grief is a very individual experience.
As for memory, yes, it’s another of those symptoms of grief. Memories can be very painful. Our mind may try to shut them off so we fail to remember. It can also affect everyday memory. I often go to the cupboard and stand there wondering why I went there. !!
Try and take it as it comes. The old expression so much used but so true comes to mind. ‘A day at a time an hour at a time’. Give yourself time and space to grieve. You read my post on ‘giving up’. Allow it all to happen.
Never listen to foolish people who put a time limit to grief.
Take care Mary. Very best wishes. Blessings to you too.

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Grief is traumatic. It’s not surprising one can’t concentrate and one gets confused. Plus, grief is tiring.
Twice this week it popped into my head that I needed to buy something from amazon. Days later I still can’t remember what it is.
It’s early days for me, but I’m struggling to remember my to do list. I need to start writing it down.

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Grief is traumatic and totally exhausting.I can do a few jobs then I have to rest for a while.It’s almost 4 weeks since my Rob died.I try to focus on the good times but I keep coming back to him lying on that hospital bed,never to see his home again.It was so unfair.I wish I had friends around me so I could just have a chat but even my Facebook friends have deserted me,probably thinking Oh she’s OK she’s getting over it.Until they lose a husband or wife,they have no comprehension of what grief is like.My life changed forever on the 12th November.

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Thank you very much for your replys, I am having a bad day today, it has hit me all over again, the shocked feeling has returned. I prayed, whilst my dog (Polly) was out with the dog walker, that Stan would send me a sign. I went out to check that the side gate was unlocked and I found a white feather outside my kitchen window, only small but nevertheless a white feather. Joy, I knew that my beloved husband had sent it.
Three times last week, I had a strong scent of Stan’s after shave, Grey Flannel, he wasn’t a chap who wanted many smellies, yet he loved this one. I like to think that it was because I bought it.

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