Loss of mother


I lost my Mum today. We travelled to Switzerland for an assisted suicide as her breast cancer had metastisised to her brain and she only had a few weeks left to live. She wanted to exit with dignity and on her own terms, still recognising her family. She did this today with her family around her. I have not had to deal with bereavement in my life until now, so I am lucky in that regard, but I was very close to my Mum and the realisation of losing one of the two people in my life who loved me unconditionally is truly awful. I have been caring for her the last two weeks which has been very intense given how unwell she was, but this brought us even closer. We came back to the hotel we had been staying in together the last 2 days, back to her room with her clothes, toiletries and perfume etc. I feel numb and can’t believe she is gone. She was such a bright life. It astounds me that people are going through this type of grief all round the world every day, as it feels like the world should stop moving.

Dear Mentor, thank you for your eloquent message that sums up all we have been through and are going through. It was indeed a logistical nightmare and a very harrowing experience. Now she is gone and we can’t quite believe it. After initially being incredibly upset with my brother and father when we were all together last week overseas, I now feel numb and have returned home to my wife and 3 children who continue to lead their own lives. The crazy busyness of the household means that I am getting little to no time to grieve my mother as the days are so full of tasks. I am starting to resent having no headspace to deal with this and it almost feels disrespectful to my mother to be back in the daily routine so quickly. My wife had shown me sympathy initially but appears to be moving on. This is starting to make me feel bitter towards my wife and children. Do you have any words of advice on this?