Loss of mum 2nd year…

I am still trying to navigate a world without my dear mum. We lost her in July 2022 and everything seems to have lost its sparkle.
Did anyone struggle more in year 2? I’m finding I’m questioning everything and nothing all at once (struggling with purpose).

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Hello @ZoeLeigh,

Thank you for reaching out - I’m so sorry for the loss of your mum. You might find our support page “How long does grief last?” helpful to read.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I just wanted you to know that you have been heard.

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I’ve found lots of threads on here where people have said the 2nd year was worse for them than the first,so you’re definitely not alone. It’s comforting and surprising to read through lots of experiences on here for me.I hope someone comes along to help x

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I lost my mum suddenly in May 2021, and I haven’t been able to get back to any sense of normal, whatever normal is. I run my own business and I haven’t been able to keep it going. Every day I struggle with accepting Mum’s gone. I have a yearning to tell her what she meant to me. People say oh she knew… but it doesn’t help. So I don’t think how you feel is unusual. Sadly only people who are going through a similar experience will truly understand. I’m sorry you are also going through this. I feel like there is no purpose, and I’m desperately trying to find it again. I’m sure both our mums would want us to. But it’s so so hard.

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Thanks for replying and sharing about your loss and feelings too. I’m so sorry for your loss too. You’re right, I don’t think anyone can understand fully unless they’re experiencing it. I agree - I’m sure our mums are willing us on to find a new purpose - I wish I could wave a magic wand! Take care!

I know exactly what you mean, Zoe. My mum died in March 2022 and I miss her dreadfully. I also have a lot of guilt over allowing her to go into a care home for what turned out to be her last five months. At the time I thought it was the kindest thing but I regretted it quickly and wish I’d been braver and taken her back home again (we had lived together until then). Since I lost her I moved to another part of the country and changed my job and I’ve had good days but as you say everything has lost its sparkle.

It’s almost like living in a constant fog and putting on a front for work and other people so they don’t know how I feel.

I find comfort in nature and peaceful places, that’s where I feel best and can regain feelings of contentment.

I lost my mum suddenly in 2015 and I still struggle now and then. So much has happened since then that she has missed out on (my niece being born, me buying my first house).
I get what you mean about everything losing its sparkle, nothing feels the same anymore. I can’t ring her up if I’ve got some good news, I can’t hug her if I’m sad.
Like Claire, I also find comfort in nature. I try to find comfort in little things like painting my nails her favourite colour or buying myself her favourite flowers. My little way of keeping her close to me

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