My mum died last June - a fit, healthy, active 84 year old, always on the go, having to check our diaries to find time to meet up. Diagnosed with an aggressive cancer, out of the blue. I had the huge privilege of being able to care for her, with my two sisters, in her last few weeks, until she died.
Now I feel so anxious, overwhelmed, struggling to function without a panic rising up inside me.
Hi @Gabby1,
Thank you for bravely reaching out. I’m so sorry to hear about your mum.
You are not alone. I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support to you. In the meantime, you might find these Sue Ryder resources helpful to read.
Our Losing a parent page talks through some of the emotions you may be experiencing
Our Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief
Our Bereavement Information pages which can walk you through what you are going through
You might also want to read Mind’s guide to coping with panic attacks. If you’re find these feelings of anxiety and panic are becoming too much, it might be a good idea to make an appointment with your GP.
I hope you find the community to be a support to you. Take good care and keep reaching out,
Seaneen
Thank you for your message. I will definitely take a look at the help offered. Thank you again.
Hi Gabby, your post resonates with me. My mam died in December from aggressive cancer of the pancreas, before that she was also fit and healthy. even near the end people couldnt believe she had stage 4 cancer because she looked so well - i also cared for her. i’ve only really just gone back to work after feeling so much fatigue and overwhelm.
How have the last few months been for you?
Hi there, I’m so sorry to hear about your mum. It’s just rubbish isn’t it!
There have been lots of ‘anniversaries’ recently - my mum was diagnosed with acute myeloid leukaemia on 25th March last year. It would have been her 85th birthday on 6th March, Mother’s Day and she died on 12th June last year.
A friend and neighbour of hers said, if there was anyone you would have expected to make it to their 100th birthday, it would have been my mum. She was so outgoing and her mind and memory were just amazing. Her dress sense was also super that nobody, including me and my sisters treated her like ‘a little old lady’, because she wasn’t.
I’ve had a really tricky time at work recently, not coping with things in the normal way and when things came to a head last week, all that surfaced was my mum’s death. It’s kind of crept up on me and caught me out a bit. Now I just feel anxious and overwhelmed, and a little bit like life is ‘running away from me’, if that makes sense. But I have found comfort from this group, because it really makes you realise that there’s no ‘one size fits all’ to grief, but others are experiencing similar things.
I’ve been in touch with my GP and also turned to this group. I hope you can find some help too? ……
Hi gabby, there is so much love in your words when you write about your incredible mum. she sounds like she was as bright as a button, someone who was so well respected and loved.
This sounds like a particularly difficult time. this is also the first year i am experiencing grief and i am almost nervous for all the anniversaries and firsts coming up. someone else made a post about mother’s day for the motherless and it was nice to feel less alone - as you say, everyone is individual but there are similarities.
I went to my GP soon after my mam’s death to get signed off sick, and the GP actually said it was fairly common for people to be OK for a bit and then find they need to take time off months later - i hope your GP has been just as supportive and helpful. I am finding myself unpicking existential crisis including a ‘life is running away from me’ feeling. my mam always lived life to the full, something id love to honour her by but i often feel simply too tired.