Thank you to those who have shared your loss, I can really relate to your feelings. I lost my mum nearly 12
months ago to a sudden illness. It was such a shock. She was my
best friend, we did everything together. I still can’t stop crying infact I feel worse now. She was my emotional support and I feel so lost and lonely without her. People keep saying you have your happy memories but it doesn’t help as they are just a reminder of what I have lost. I am haunted by my memories of when she was ill, it makes me so sad and torments me that she had to go through that. I stayed with her all night but just missed her before she died. I know she would want me to make the most of my life and be happy but I don’t know how to move on without her. I understand now why they say grief is the price we pay for love.
Hello @Em22 ,
I can see that you’re new to the community, so I wanted to say that I am so sorry for the loss of your Mum that brings you here.
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that may help right now.
- Our Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief
- Our Grief Coach text service, which sends you personalised text support via SMS
- Our free Online Bereavement Counselling which is held via video chat
- Our Bereavement Information pages which can walk you through what you are going through.
Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.
Take care,
Alex
Hi sending a hug to you x
So sorry about your mum … i lost my mum 3 months ago … its a terrible thing to lose a loving mum. I loved her so much. I was with her at the end and that means a lot and managed to tell her i loved her before she lost consciousness. Sending u lots of love xx
Sorry for you loss I lost my mam & dad 2 years ago and my brother a year, losing a mam is the worse grief ever you always think mams are invincible and will never leave you. Be kind with yourself that’s the best advice I ever got, never put a time on grief either because it doesn’t have one, it’s constant, it’s the overwhelming pain inside that will eventually get easier as you learn to live without mam. Take care X
Wonderful words and so true xx
so sorry to hear. I lost my mum last march. she was nearly 90 but it was still unexpected. She was due to take a friend to church but didn’t show up that’s how we knew something was wrong. I’ve found this forum/community very helpful. I was with mum when she died, not sure being there was a comfort- but by being there we made sure she had the last rites so that" j a comfort (mum was catholic). Everyone is different and there’s no right way to grieve. I did ok at 1st then 6 months later my brain shut down just starting to engage the world.
Thank you so much for your reply my mum also catholic family to although don’t I go often but my mum had all what she wanted and would have been so proud that her wishes were fulfilled I have been to church several times since it helps for sure do you think the same? Xxx 
My sister and i were raised protestant, my father had been married before - at the time that was a big no no. Remember mum saying if they don’t want me they’re not having my children. She went back to the church after their divorce - was very active - svp, piety shop etc she joked if anything happens to me the xmas cards for shop are in the wardrobe. Turns out it was easter cards in the spare room!
Mum wanted a full catholic mass so that’s what she got. Was strange for sis and me - we had no idea what was going on or what we should do! There were so many people we nearly missed our slot at the crem!!
Morning
That’s a great story your Mum sounded like a character, hope you start to feel better soon xx
Hi @Feelings mum was certainly a character. If you met her you didn’t forget her. We never could go any where without someone saying hello Mrs P. Sometimes it was annoying/embarrassing/time consuming!!!
Aww sounds like my Mum love it! So nice to hear your stories xxx
My mum sounds like yours met her once and you’d never forget her! Xxx
@Feelings she was a school secretary and naughty kids weren’t sent to the head’s office but to mum’s. 6 months before she died she wanted railings made. Went to a workshop the guy said do you remember me mrs p. He’d been at her school 30 yrs ago! I think i might start a thread about sharing memories, if there isn’t one and I’ve missed it.
I really share your feelings on losing your Mum. I lost mine in July and it is so hard going back to the house sorting out and removing her whole life. I feel haunted by memories of her suffering and to see someone you love so much go through that was awful. It was such a quick and sudden decline from wide spread cancer over a few weeks it was such a shock. The one comfort I have is that it was only a few weeks of suffering. There was nothing that could be done. I was in the house when she died at home but not with her which haunts me too. It will take a lot of time for all of us for the pain to lessen. It is not a case of moving on it is carrying on. Planning nice things in the calendar is helping me
Thank you for your message. I’m so sorry to hear about your mum 
Your situation is so similar to my own. It really helps to come on this forum and know we’re not alone with these feelings. I miss my mum so much it hurts. I am also having problems parting with my mum’s things, I feel so guilty but I can’t keep everything even though I really want to. Bad things keep happening, my dog is very poorly now and she is the only thing that has got me through this last year. I am so scared of losing her too which I know I will. A lot of people don’t understand that our pets are like our children, especially when you don’t have children of your own. It will be another bereavement for me 
x
So sorry. Keep your chin up. Just remember youre not only one who is finding this road so tough… you’re not alone xx
Hi Em22
I’m so sorry to hear of the loss of your mum. Im going through it at the moment too. My mum had a fall on christmas eve and had a massive stroke as she bumped her head. She passed away on the 6th January.
I was very close to mum and have no siblings or close family so im completely alone and feel completely numb and in a complete brain fog at the moment.
The last week or so has been spent doing the practical “informing people” stuff, but im doing it on complete auto pilot and today i had to deal with getting rid of mums car which i found particularly difficult.
I just wanted to let you know you’re not alone
I do feel like bad things keep happening too. Last May I lost a good friend, then My Mother and Mother in Law in July and my Father in law in December. You wonder what is next. Having had pets in the past (I don’t want to again because of the pain of the loss,) I completely understand how you feel. Pets are part of your family and when we lose them we lose part of the family for sure.
I’m so sorry for the loss of your mum. Like so many other people on this forum you have not only lost your mum , your dearest person, but have also gone through a lot of trauma. I have had traumatic experiences with the death of both parents and it’s not something I will ever get over. I’m sorry you don’t have any family, I hope you have some good friends , sometimes they are easier to talk to. This forum is great for getting your feelings off your chest. Take care of yourself.