I lost my Mum 5 weeks ago, she was a huge part of my little family especially when we lost my Dad 12 years ago. I’m struggling to adjust to her not having her here anymore, it’s not just my heart that is broken I feel so broken without her. I have been away from work since she passed & should return soon, but I’m struggling to leave the house & be part of society again? 
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@Christie68 i am exactly the same so you are not alone with how you are feeling. I have been trying to have one thing each day that either pushes me out of the house or makes me do something around my own home. Truth be told, I feel like the bomb inside of me has only partially gone off. I am all over with sleep patterns, eating and functioning like a human.
The week my mother died, I went straight to the gp. She gave me contact details to Talking Therapies and I am now on the wait list for bereavement counselling. Been told it is a 10-15 week waiting list. My rationale is that I’d rather be in the queue and when I get to the front feel more ok than I am now, than not in the queue and find myself trying to pick myself up from the depression that may set in.
My extended family have been great, but I know that life resumes and I’m dreading the loneliness and the anxiety kicking in. I have no idea what may lie ahead for me emotionally but I am hoping that I’m lining therapy etc up just in case.
I was also given antidepressants by my gp, which I have not yet started taking. I’m desperately trying to allow my feelings to unfold, face them head on as much as possible but also trying to be a friend to myself.
It is still early days @Christie68 so please don’t be too hard on yourself. It is ok to feel how you are feeling.
Please know you are not alone with this, be your own best friend and lean into a trusted person. Sending you much love 
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I am feeling the same way .broken hearted crying alot this week as the year anniversary just passed .I guess I do feel.alone and think that noone else must feel like this but there are so many going through exactly the same thing .reassuring in a way that is why I reached out .I’m just lost .lost in a way I’ve never felt lost .no siblings no parents just me and my dogs
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Hi @2shoes, I’m currently in my Mams house having a cup of coffee. Her ashes are here and we are planning on the interment next week ( to be alongside our Dad). Right now I feel settled, but give me an hour and I guarantee that rollercoaster will have started again and I’ll be a wreck.
I’m trying to create some space at my own home to put some of things together, a bit like a memory box. I’ve been looking over old photos and I don’t know if it’s helping me or making me worse.
Send you a big hug and give your dog a big cuddle. I don’t have pets but right now I’d love to snuggle into a dog/cat x
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Hi Christine,
I am so very sorry for your loss. I lost my Mum in June and I am really struggling too.
Please take the time you need, grieving takes time. If you need additional support speak to your doctor.
In the meantime, please know that you are not alone. There are lots of resources out there to support you during this difficult time.
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Bless you cbc that you can do that as I havent been able to get into my family home due to family issues .you are being so brave just sitting there and planning what is next .I understand the rollercoaster .I have my dogs and they are a comfort to me but the loneliness of not having him to talk to is so much worse as we talked 24 7 .I tried watching an old video of mum and dad together and was strangely ok as they were so happy and it gave me a little comfort to know they are together now just as your mum and dad are x thank you for the hug I needed that more than anything I feel x
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Hi Beaver I hope you are ok and coping as best you can .we would love to bring them back right but not to go through sickness or pain .I know my dad had alot of pain and he kept going for us .this is what I’m holding on to .the strength that he had x
@2shoes i understand the loneliness. I wake up every day and say “morning mam”. During the day I have a little chat with her and at night I say night night to her. Do you have any items of clothing that you can keep close to you?
Sending another hug to you my dear.
I’m trying to journal these days and also trying to pull a list of happy memories together. But it’s taken me 5 weeks to get to the point of actually starting that. At the start it was too hard.
I hope you can sleep tonight and if you can’t, find something light on the tv to just let the time pass. Soak in the bath or focus on your breathing to try to help.
Big hug again my dear. One day at a time x
Hi no words can help you feel better so sorry for loss it will take time to heal sending hugs xx
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