I lost my Mum 5 weeks ago, she was a huge part of my little family especially when we lost my Dad 12 years ago. I’m struggling to adjust to her not having her here anymore, it’s not just my heart that is broken I feel so broken without her. I have been away from work since she passed & should return soon, but I’m struggling to leave the house & be part of society again? 
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@Christie68 i am exactly the same so you are not alone with how you are feeling. I have been trying to have one thing each day that either pushes me out of the house or makes me do something around my own home. Truth be told, I feel like the bomb inside of me has only partially gone off. I am all over with sleep patterns, eating and functioning like a human.
The week my mother died, I went straight to the gp. She gave me contact details to Talking Therapies and I am now on the wait list for bereavement counselling. Been told it is a 10-15 week waiting list. My rationale is that I’d rather be in the queue and when I get to the front feel more ok than I am now, than not in the queue and find myself trying to pick myself up from the depression that may set in.
My extended family have been great, but I know that life resumes and I’m dreading the loneliness and the anxiety kicking in. I have no idea what may lie ahead for me emotionally but I am hoping that I’m lining therapy etc up just in case.
I was also given antidepressants by my gp, which I have not yet started taking. I’m desperately trying to allow my feelings to unfold, face them head on as much as possible but also trying to be a friend to myself.
It is still early days @Christie68 so please don’t be too hard on yourself. It is ok to feel how you are feeling.
Please know you are not alone with this, be your own best friend and lean into a trusted person. Sending you much love 
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I am feeling the same way .broken hearted crying alot this week as the year anniversary just passed .I guess I do feel.alone and think that noone else must feel like this but there are so many going through exactly the same thing .reassuring in a way that is why I reached out .I’m just lost .lost in a way I’ve never felt lost .no siblings no parents just me and my dogs
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