Loss of my 34 year old son in a van fire

Coping with bereavement
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Hi I lost my son 8 weeks ago in a van fire in Staffordshire he has a 7 year old son and a baby on the way. Im struggling to cope with the loss of him .some days i feel like ive buried someone else and that the police will say that they made a huge mistake and it was not him. It is now such a huge enquiry into why and what happened and now i have to wait most probably next year for coroners court

1 Like
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Hello @Sue3p,

I can see that you’re new to the community. I hope you find it to be a support to you, but I am so sorry for the loss of your son that brings you here.

Your loss is so sudden and recent, it is completely normal for it to feel unreal. You are not alone and I wanted to share some sources of support that might help you right now.

  • Child Bereavement UK support families with the loss of a child. They also support bereaved children. You can call their helpline on 0800 02 888 40. They would also have helpful resources for supporting your grandchild.

  • The Compassionate Friends support families who have lost a child of any age. You can call them on 0345 123 2304

  • Our Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief

  • Our Grief Coach text service, which sends you personalised text support via SMS

  • Our free Online Bereavement Counselling which is held via video chat

  • Our Bereavement Information pages which can walk you through what you are going through.

Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out.

Seaneen

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My deepest sympathy to you on the loss of your son, no one should have to bury their child. My sympathies also go to his wife (partner) and his children both born and to be born. How she is coping I can’t begin to imagine. This is a terrible time for you all and I hope you are all able to comfort and support each other through this terrible tragedy

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Thankyou so much for your reply .as with most things nothing is straightforward .my son suffered alot of mental and emotional issues due to having a,constant battle of seeing his son from his first relationship and its only been really the last year that things finally started to get better .his new partner of 11 months whos carrying his baby shows little remorse and so my son inforned us so many tines on numerous occasions aufferd more mental and emotional abuse and apparently was physical as well. An argunent arose over a McDonald’s abd and was never seen again. At this moment in time CID have ruled out suicide and third party involvement. The pain i feel inside is excruciating abd each and every day im struggling so muçh

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@Sue3p
Gosh what a lot you have to deal with. You have my deepest sympathy but unfortunately no words of advice as I can’t imagine how you deal with all the complications that has come with your son’s passing. Seek support from whatever sources that are available to you and stay strong. Do you have any other family or friends who are helping you through this difficult time?

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Thankyou so much for your message

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Everyone seems to be suddenly vanishing and feel quite abandoned to be quite honest. My husband and my other 2 children are supportive but i feel like im going though this horrific journey on my own.CID are having to stop media from contacting me and want to know everything that happened as his death was sudden.all i inow it wasent suspicious and not suicide but the pain i feel inside of losing him is like torture

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Unfortunately I think whenever we lose someone we have our own ways of coping and try as they might no one else can feel what we feel or understand our pain. Hopefully things will become better for you as time goes by and hopefully you will get some answers.

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I really do hope so .thankyou so much for caring it really means so much to me

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Please feel free to message me privately if I can help. I lost my partner, the love of my life, just over eleven weeks ago. I know I have more living to do, but it is hard. If I can give any support to you, or any others, it will help to focus me on moving forward. Feel free to reach out to me if I can help

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I am so so sorry for your loss .im here for you and also anyone else as well. This is truly so hard and devastating for every single one of us. I try just to take each day at a tine as i cant think about tomorrow at all. I just wish so much i I could change everything for everybody and every single day i pray for a miracle to happen and to bring Aaron back. I have my shift tonight on my medical unit but if i feel like i cant cope or anything i can leave when i want to. This is a very hard and psinful journey for every single one of us but im there for you xxxx

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I’m so desperately sorry for your loss.
Sending warmth and comfort.
X

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Thankyuu so much for your kind words x