Loss of my adult son

3 weeks ago my 40 year old son was found passed away at his home.
A post mortem was inconclusive so now we have to wait up to 16 wks for further test results. I know I may never know why he died.
Tomorrow is his funeral.
I am dreading it.
I’m scared of breaking down in front of my grandson, his son, who’s 8. I feel I should be brave for him.
No one knows what to say and I get that. My emotions are all over the place. It’s like it’s not real. I sleep and when I wake it hits me all over again.

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Thank you , it’s so hard.

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I will try, feeling very shaky right now.
Service is at 12.

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