Loss of my beloved son

I lost my beloved son on Tuesday 15th Feb at 9pm. He had just celebrated his 50th birthday the week before on the 9th Feb. He was diagnosed with stage 4 bowel and liver cancer just before the first lock down so we were unable to spend quality time with him and l feel robbed of previous time with him. My heart is broken.

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Hi, I don’t have an answer for you, but you are in my thoughts as I too list my son in Fab 2020. I hope you have good friends, family or colleagues to talk to. I know however that you don’t always feel able to talk as much as you would like. Sending you love

Thank you. Xx

I have been really struggling lately with the loss of my son shaun-jnr who passed away in 2010 and I just want to say how sorry I am for you firstly and I think we all grieve so different I was constantly thinking why am I not hurting as much today or why did I just smile, what I am trying to say is there is no rule book everyone is different and no two people grieve the same but what I can offer you is that you learn to live with it ,personally I think that it got harder with time because I kinda kidded myself into thinking that it’s all a dream it’s not real and I made myself really poorly so please take everyday slowly and remember the good times I always tell myself that my son would not want to see me upset and I have been able to get through the day by smiling and remembering the good times and the funny things that he did in his life. I am sending you my love and support :heart:

Hello Suzy Sue I have just seen your post. I am sorry for your loss. IT must have been awful to have not been able to see him as much as you would have liked- heartbreaking actually. I think that loosing a child at an older age seems to be a category of it’s own. I lost two sons one in september 13th and one on December5TH. They were 42 and 42. THey see them as middle aged but I see them as my babies. I am heartbroken and I think because I am older it feels as if there in nowhere to go from here. I was told that shock would last a lot longer than we think so u are probably ly still there. I Hope that you have lots of support around you and take care jx

Thank you Jenna
I don’t know where to go to get some help a lot of the online help are via zoom which l don’t do, l didn’t do it when David was ill.
Sue

Cruse is good. You can ring
Them up whenever you feel down. They will offer you counselling over the phone so no zoom needed. There is also the Compassionate Friends for anyone who has lost a child of any age.They have a forum like this or a helpline you can ring .It is good because all their volunteers have lost a child at some stage in their lives. I think the helplines are especially good be cause they know what u been through. How have u been feeling x

Thanks, l have been in touch with cruse but there is a 10 week waiting list. Called compationate friends but all the advisors were busy but will keep trying.
Sue

Yes keep on ringing them the CF. I have a feeling they will help you as they have helped
me. It is a terrible time though loosing sons I cannot believe is true sometimes and I hate waking up in the morning. I think that talking about it is helpful but the loss and grief is still there . And so it should be because we love them and always will xJ

Did u ask to go on the waiting list for cruse might be worth your while. Hope u are ok jx

Yes l submitted a referral form and that’s when they replied to say it was a 10 week wait. Thank you for your message Jenna. David’s wife is picking up his ashes tomorrow so that’s another obstacle to get over.
Sue

Good that family are there to do these difficult things there are so many things we have to do that are so hard. Take it steady take care xxxJ

Sorry to hear about your beautiful son . If you’re still looking for help or support I have recently joined a wonderful group compassionate friends I lost my daughter last July & didn’t know we’re to turn. These wonderful people have lost children they totally feel our pain. Sending love & prayers :smiling_face_with_three_hearts::broken_heart:

Sending you my best wishes hope you are coping .Loosing a son is a terrible thing I miss my boys badly every day . Everything you are going throgh is hard. Love to you.

Hello there -wandering how you you are. Early days so take it easy. We are here for you x

Thanks Jenna, yes it is still early days l have a call booked In for Tuesday 22nd March with Marie Curie bereavement support. Not sure if this is what a wantor need but will see how it goes. Thank you for your messages Jenna l appreciate it. Xx

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Hi that’s good news. I am sure it will be helpful to you. There is nothing worse than bottling it all up. Sometimes it’s hard to talk to family and friends about everything. Good luck and take care xxxj