Loss of my brother in law

4 weeks ago today I lost my brother in law of 22 years very suddenly at the age of 41. He was also my best friend and the person in life I knew always had my back and I am really struggling to deal with it. I have a wife and kids of my own but I am so angry all the time and for the first time in my life I can feel a darkness setting in to my mindset. My bro in law is my 8th bereavement in less than 4 years. Some more important than others but they all hurt.

I feel like I now have to step up and do the things he was doing. I’m trying to fill the void left by him with my nephew who has autism. I’m trying to be strong for everyone but I’m struggling to be strong for myself.

I used to look forward to the future but honestly now this has just made me realise how uncertain things really are, 41 and dead of a heart attack. It’s difficult to look to the future when everyone around me keeps dying. For the first time in my life I can’t see a path forward. I just want to climb in to a bottle and stay there but I can’t because I have my wife and kids to look after and also my sister and her kids.

Never felt this low in my entire life, I know what I need to be I just don’t know how to do it.

Hello @Blevi89,

I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling. I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your brother in law. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that might be helpful.

I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.

Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.

Take care,

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