Loss of my brother

Its been 4 weeks since i found out my brother had passed away. He had just gone 46 and passed away in his sleep. Its been such a shock and has broken my heart. The funeral is 23rd December so Christmas is cancelled in our house this year. He will be buried with our dad who died age 33. It hurts so much i just want things to go back to how there were and not have to go through this grief. I will love him forever and cherish our special bond that you have with a sibling who has shared your whole life. X

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Dear Lisa

Welcome to the Online Community. I so sorry to hear you have lost your brother at such a young age.

Cherish the wonderful 46 years you had with him. Hold on to the laughter and memories. Just a thought as the passing of your brother happened suddenly. Writing a letter can help saying how you feel and how you felt about him or even write a poem. It will help with the grieving process. Grief will take take time. Sadly there is no quick fix. There is comfort in that your brother will be re-united with your dad.

Christmas time is even harder when a loved one passes as it is all about family. Your brother along with your dad will always be in your heart wherever you go.

Take care. xx

Thankyou for your kind message. Ive been busy writing a eulogy and putting the things together that i want to go in with him. Ive ironed my brothers shirt which was so hard to do. Everything is in place for the funeral on the 23rd. Ive been so busy im scared to stop because i know whats coming on thursday.
Im so anxious the thought of putting my brother in the ground breaks my heart.
Also seeing my dads grave opened up as i was only 3 when he passed away worries me.
My mum was rushed into hospital last sunday and my son needs a big operation in January.
I can’t believe everythings going very badly wrong.
I miss my little brother i would give up everything i have to have him back with his family where he belongs. We don’t know whats happened to Mark yet we have to wait for test results to come back.
All feels so unreal. x

My heart is broken all over again tonight. It was my brother Mark’s funeral earlier today. The service was beautiful, my brave son read out his eulogy and the songs he loved were played. There were lots of family there so there were lots of support.
Most of the funeral felt like it wasn’t real like it wasn’t really happening.
I am sat here reflecting back on the whole day and cannot believe its Christmas eve tomorrow.
Time has stood still but yet the weeks are flying by.
I just want my brother back i don’t understand how a healthy 46 year old man can just pass away in their sleep its too difficult to get my head round it.
I keep imagining Mark how he would walk or stand, his mannerisms i can hear his voice and that rips my heart apart. This pain i feel hurts too much. How can my little brother who ive known and loved all my life just disappear?
My heart yearns for you Mark i will love you forever.
You will be my brother forever. X

Hi Lisa
I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your brother. I too lost my little brother in May this year just 6 days away from his 46th birthday so I can fully relate to everything you have said. We only had 7 weeks with him from his diagnosis of terminal cancer so it was very little time to even process what was happening, his funeral was the 10th of June and I still don’t feel its real, I miss him so much and seeing the heartbreak my parents go through every day is unbearable but I have to try and be strong for them. If you need to chat feel free to message me. Lisa

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Sending a huge thankyou for reaching out to me.
Im so sorry to hear you lost your brother recently too.
46 is just too young. I really feel for you and your family. Was so kind of you to share your story about your brother you must love and miss him so much.

How did you manage through Christmas?
Christmas eve i always visit my sons grave who was
Stillborn i never miss, but this year i just couldn’t face it. Not the day after attending my brothers funeral.
I havn’t put up any decorations sent any cards Christmas day we had dinner but no crackers we all just sat on the sofa later on fell asleep. I wanted the day to be quiet and no where near the way we normally celebrate.
All i think about is my brother i hate having no choice but to feel this pain. Cannot believe he won’t walk through my door telling me to get the kettle on!
You share a strong bond with a sibling losing them is never part of the plan.
Sending you love and best wishes xx

Hi Lisa
It sounds like we had a very similar Christmas to you, I too really didn’t want to celebrate anything because I just feel so sad all the time, when I see my parents I feel such overwhelming sadness it nearly takes my breath but we try to keep going even though things will never be the same again, we have no choice. Love Lisa xx

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