Loss of my brother

I lost my brother in April this year and there’s not a day that goes by that he’s not on my mind. I was with him during his final hours and to see him suffering and in pain still haunts me deeply. I carried his coffin at his funeral and I feel doing this at the age of 35, I’ve been robbed of many years that we should’ve still had as a family. By joining this community group and reading the posts, it is helping me to know that the feelings and emotions we are all going through is part of the grieving process. I feel for you all and if I can help anyone please drop me a message.

Hi Drew,

I’m part of the community team here, welcome to the site.

I’m terribly sorry for the loss of your brother. I think many members here can relate to the experiences and feelings you are going through, as you say. I’m so glad that you have found comfort in reading their posts.

If you have any questions about the site, do just let me know.

Take care,


Its kind of you to offer your help to others in their suffering when you are still in a lot of distress. There are a lot of good people on here as well that are only to willing to offer support. I lost my Husband 6 weeks ago and was there as well, so I do know what you mean by being haunted by what you saw even though its a different type of relationship and loss. Its so painfully hard isn’t it and it hurts immensely. Kindest regards to you.

Would like to second or third the replies you have had Drew. I was with my Mum at the end and try to blot out those last few hours and prefer to remember her as the beautiful loving Mum she was when she was healthy.

What a privilege to be able to carry your brother on his last journey, be proud.


Hello Tina,

So sorry to hear about the loss of your husband. It is extremely painful and hurts deeply.
The way I am trying to forget that awful morning and the horrible images is by looking at all the photos I have of my brother and remembering the good times we all had as a family. I know that my brother wouldn’t want me to dwell on things that have happened. But, it is so hard and difficult not too.
6 weeks is so recent Tina, I wish you well and remember to look after yourself. If can help in anyway please do let me know.
Kind regards, Drew

Hi Mel,

Thank you for kind words.

Did you have a particular way in trying to blot those awful last few hours out? I’m sure your mum was comforted with you being by her side.

I am pleased that you are remembering the loving and beautiful mum she was to you.

I am pleased I was able to carry his coffin, it was the hardest thing I’ve ever done but wouldn’t want it any other way.

Take care,

Drew x

Thank you for your comments, I really appreciate the reply and advice. I hope you have had a peaceful a day today as possible. Kindest regards.

Hi Drew

No real solutions for blotting out the terrible memories apart from as suggested elsewhere on this forum countering every horrible memory with a lovely one from the past. I have a photo of my Mum looking beautiful and laughing at a family party which is how i want to remember her.

I found the time planning her funeral almost cathartic. Since have been very low. Currently am having a few days away from home and finding that very helpful not looking at her things.