10 years in april since we lost my brother to cancer. 19, he was just 19. The chemo and radio therapy fried his brain, we wasnt MY brother after that, he was someone else. Thats what makes the loss of him so incredibly heart breaking. I dont feel like i could greave, mum was sooo upset, still is, younger brother was just 5, and my other 2 siblings wouldnt accept it. Me… i was angry, still angry, dont know how to be not angry, but i do cry for him alot. I am very good at hiding my feelings, was just the way we were brought up. How do i stop it? I cant remember what he sounds like, smells like, looks like. His birthday is the right before christmas. So christmas just isnt christmas any more, no one looks forward to it, just want to crawl into a hole and die. I am the rock, but i feel like im crumbling. im usually very good at hiding my feelings, but the anger is just so strong. There are no help services where i live, doctor told me to learn to deal with it. I would have given my life for him to live 10 more, to the same age i was when he left.
Hello @Jay-jay ,
I can see that you’re new to the community, so I wanted to say that I am so sorry for the loss of your brother that brings you here.
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that may help right now.
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Our Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief
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Our Grief Coach text service, which sends you personalised text support via SMS
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Our free Online Bereavement Counselling which is held via video chat
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Our Bereavement Information pages which can walk you through what you are going through
Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.
Take care,
Alex