This is my first post. My brother died at the age of 48 a couple of days before Christmas. The funeral was about 10 days ago. I can’t pinpoint a word to describe how I feel generally. Sometimes I feel really lonely with it all. My relationship with my husband hasn’t been great for a number of years so I can’t lean on him for support. I have teenage children but they have their own lives and I’m not going to make them responsible for helping me through this. I’m angry about a few things and a few people, then I feel even angrier because those things are eating away at me and preventing me from just feeling the grief. I’m functioning entirely normally, doing everything I need to do, but I don’t feel like I’ve got time or headspace for this loss to sink in
Hello @Bob80,
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings 
I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your brother, especially during such a difficult time of year. It sounds like you’re carrying a lot of weight, and I can understand how hard it must be to navigate your grief, especially when you’re managing the expectations of daily life. It’s completely normal to feel conflicted and unsure of how to express what you’re going through when grief can manifest in so many different ways.
I want to reassure you that what you’re feeling is valid. Many of our community members have experienced similar emotions, from the anger and frustration that sometimes come with grief to the sense of loneliness when support feels out of reach. I hope you find some comfort in knowing you’re not alone in this.
In the meantime, here are some Sue Ryder resources that might help:
- Our Grief Guide self-help platform with information, resources, and advice to help you through your grief
- Our Grief Coach text service offering personalised SMS support
- Our free Online Bereavement Counselling via video chat
- Our Bereavement Information pages with helpful guidance
It may be helpful to talk with others who understand, so please feel free to keep reaching out here in the community. We’re here to support each other, and you’re not alone in this journey.
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I just wanted to let you know that you have been heard and you are not alone.
Take care,
Ben
Hi - I lost my brother recently - 6 weeks after he got married, like you am feeling angry at times, sad at other times and completely lost most of the time, our parents also died so it was just me & him we were very close, and I am hurting. Be gentle with yourself all the feelings you are having - well you aren’t alone xx
hi I lost my brother a year a go he was only 45, I feel both of your grief its more of a lost feeling losing a sibling, me and my brother weren’t particularly close but I knew he was there, and now he’s not im wishing I reached out more to him, I wish id done a lot of things different but I have to accept I can’t undo things