Hi there I’m new to the online community Its took me a lot to do this as I’m not coping well at all I lost my dad jan 17th 2024 after seeing him deteriorate for a long time and I was the only one visiting him then in April 2024 I had to make the decision to have my dog of 12 years put to sleep I just don’t feel like myself at all I feel lost even though I have people in my life but feel silly still grieving and how I’m feeling think I need help
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Please don’t feel silly, there is no one size fits all type of grief. I’m here because I’m not dealing with the loss of my husband on Christmas Eve.
When my father in law died in 2009, he drowned in the sea whilst on holiday in Sri Lanka. Although he was my father in law he was like a Dad to me ( my own Dad cleared off when I was 6) and I’d known him for 24 years. The grief hit me really hard about 12 months later, I was busy making sure my husband was ok and my children were grieving their granddad so there wasn’t time or space for me.
There’s no time limit to how long we should miss our loved ones. Tbh, I don’t think we ever stop grieving, we just learn better ways of coping with it. Loss is the worst pain imaginable, so please don’t feel bad for how you feel.
Take time and it will gradually get a tiny bit easier as time passes. I lost my mum when I was 28 and thought I’d never cope without her but I poured all my energies in to my husband and children, work, pets and hobbies and I got through and you will too, trust the process and don’t be hard on yourself
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Sorry for your losses too and thank you for replying the hardest part was seeing my dad deteriorate stuck in a bed for 2years mum died 15year ago I’m an only child and my dog was like my best friend no judgement just unconditional love like parents so I just feel I’ve lost my world and I don’t have a purpose even though I’ve adult kids but I don’t want to put on them thanks again
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Heya,
I’m really sorry you’ve lost your dad and dog. I wanted to reply to let you know that I have too. Yeah, my dog was my actual baby and he was 15 and he was a direct link with my dad as we both cared for him, we were my dog’s favourites. My sadness has come out in fear. Fear that I’ve now got to live the rest of my life without them. I can imagine what you are going through and when I read your post I reflected on my own grief and I guess you kind of validated my feelings. I think it does help to visit this site and to write your thoughts. Your dog sounds lovely, very lucky to have a 4 legged baby to love.
I don’t know what your thoughts are but have you thought about getting another dog? I know yours will never be replaced but it does help with keeping your routine. I had my arm twisted to getting another and I admit in ways I think it was soon as my baby in heaven means so much to me. But it was outweighed with the fact that actually I miss a dog and I can give a dog a lovely life. It’s also helped as I go walking again and have a bed buddy.
I hope my message gives you a bit of positivity xx
Thank you so much for your kind words and I’m sorry for your losses too it’s nice to speak to someone that understands I’ve got children but my dog was my best friend ever I know you will understand I’ve thought about another but don’t know as the loss part is so heartbreaking I don’t know if I can do that again what was your dog?mine was a whippet did you get the same breed as before?