I recently lost my dad he was a massive part of my and my 3 children’s life. Long story short he got an illness 18 month ago which required a massive op for pancreatitis and sepsis my strong dad overcame this and spent 6 months in hospital. Once he was home he did everything right from only eating the best foods, checking his blood sugars and generally looking after himself. Unfortunately he got infective endocarditis and already had severe aorta stenosis which he was on waiting list to get new heart valves for. Dads infective endocarditis eventually spread to his brain and he was put into an induced coma for a week but didn’t pull through and decision we were left with was to switch off. This was 3 weeks ago and this week is his funeral I just feel so angry that he had done everything right yet still ended up so ill the life support situation has left me reliving this moment everyday and feeling like I should have done more which I know I couldn’t but it hurts nonetheless. Arranging his funeral has been a whirlwind and so busy looking though pictures picking songs coffins flowers etc the day has finally arrived on Friday and I genuinely don’t want to be there I just know I’m going to breakdown is this normal? Does anyone have any coping mechanisms they can possibly share or be lost greatful many thanks
Hi, I lost my dad last September, and I relive the last day I saw him in hospital too, he died from young onset dementia. The funeral was so hard, but don’t put pressure on yourself to keep it together or get through it, I think it’s an important part of the process and if you breakdown that’s ok, because it’s how you feel. Talking to my dad’s oldest friends really helped on the day, they knew him in a very different way to me which was nice. But yes it was horrendous and I cried a lot but everyone is there to support each other. Take care of yourself and I hope Friday is a lovely send off for your dad.
So sorry to hear about your Dad. Unfortunately life isn’t fair. My son also died from infective endocarditis, aged 33. He had a faulty aortic valve, which we knew about from puberty, but we were told that it wouldn’t be a problem until he was old. IE is a rare but very nasty infection. Even when sufferers are hospitalised, 20% of patients die. My son thought he had long covid, but we suspect it was IE all along. I also dreaded my son’s funeral, but the congregation was full of kind friends and relations who supported us in our grief. A funeral is not something one looks forward to attending, but you are there in honour of your Dad and you will do him proud, I am sure.
Thankyou for your reply I’m sorry for your loss it’s all so overwhelming and I feel I can be ok one minute then crying the next I’m not the most sociable person either which doesn’t help when it comes to being at a funeral I feel the day will pass in a daze xx
Thankyou for your reply and I’m sorry for your loss I hope things get a little more bearable because atm I am just dreading the funeral so much x