I recently lost my dad to various cancers. It was an unexpected diagnosis and he passed quiet quickly. I’m struggling to cope as all I remember is the pain and suffering he was in at the end. We cared for him at home and I can’t get the images out of my head of what the cancer did to his body. I keep thinking of how much pain he was in and did he know he was dying at the end and how frightened he must have been.
It keeps replaying in my mind over and over
Dear Lonelygirl
Welcome to the online community. I am sorry for your recent loss. Have you chatted to the Palliative Care Team from the hospital about this? It might be a good idea.
You do need to speak to someone and I would like to guide you to Cruse Bereavement Support (UK residents) a free counselling service who can help you as they professional experience. They are available 7 days a weeks on 0808 808 1677 or if preferred they have an open crusechat instead online.
Take care. xx
I’m so sorry to read this and I really sympathise with you. I experienced the same with my Dad abs I too worry that at the end he was scared. That breaks my heart.
Sending you my thoughts
X
Hi Lonely Girl
My mum died of cancer on Easter Sunday, after receiving a diagnosis 3 weeks prior to this. Like your dad she had various cancers and despite being in the hospice on 2 syringe drivers and regular pain relief was in pain and very emaciated with a naso- gastric tube up her nose.
For the first month or so after she died I couldn’t get the image of her in the hospice bed looking so ill out of my mind. However, now 8 months on I remember her as she was when she was healthy. In time the horrible images of your dad in pain will fade.
Take care and be kind to yourself.