Loss of my Dad

Looking to the future
1

Hi All

This is my first post. I am not newly bereaved. My Dad passed away in February last year very suddenly and whilst I have come to terms with his death, day to day life is somewhat of a challenge.

I miss him terribly but the hardest part is coping with day to day life without him. My mum is not coping at all and although she’s still fairly young (in her sixties), I feel like I have become her parent, nurse, carer, cleaner, PA She needs me obviously but I am so busy worrying about how she is coping it has really taken its toll on my mental health.

I am a nervous wreck most of the time and after struggling for what seems like an endless year I have finally given in and am asking my GP for help.

I am not surprised I need some help. My dad’s illness came out of the blue and from diagnosis to his death was just 2 weeks. In that same year I was also getting married and moving home and we now have mum spending every evening with us until she feels she can go home and go to bed by herself.

Life’s tough but I am hoping this won’t last forever and that life does start to resemble some form of normality (if that’s possible) soon.

2

Hello ShellyM, firstly I want to give you a warm welcome to our Online Community. It may be a year since the death of your beloved Dad, but it sounds as if you are still having a really tough time getting through each day.
As your father died so soon after his diagnosis, I think your whole world changed very quickly, and you weren’t able to enjoy getting married and moving house.
You have obviously been extremely supportive to your mother, but perhaps the time has come when you need to think more about yourself. It may be that your Mum has just got into the habit of relying on you and your husband all the time - perhaps you could encourage her to start rebuilding her life, with other friends and new interests.
I’m glad that you have been to see your GP - a positive step in the right direction! I realise that you’re struggling at the moment, but please talk to your husband and mother about how you are feeling. With kind regards, Jackie