I lost my dad oct 2023 . I still can’t believe it has happened. I don’t seem to be healing . I feel that I will be in this weary grief forever. Trying to stop the thoughts of the past and the events surrounding his death which were horrific. My grief counseller says that I need to be in the present and look to the future, but it’s wearing me down having to do this . Any tips would be much appreciated. I still can’t get rid of this sinking feeling. Apologies to go on
5 Likes
No need to apologise @Jopeace
It sounds like you’re really struggling just now. Grief is all consuming at times and leaves little room for rational thought or forward planning.
Just try take a day at a time and try to sit with the awful feelings if you can. It is so painful but needs to be worked through. Finding distractions may help - and there is lots of support on here for everyone - it can feel really cathartic to just get all those thoughts and feelings out.
Make sure you are looking after yourself and eating and drinking well, and try get some regular rest.
Sending some strength and a hug xx
Hi
I can relate to what it feels like to lose a parent. I lost my mum nearly 8 years ago and like you I struggled for years until one day something clicked in my head. I realised I didn’t have to suffer. I decided to take control of my life and not let my grief control me. I didn’t want to feel so down. Don’t get me wrong I still have plenty of bad days. When they hit me it can be something that triggers it. It really hurts like hell. But I know something had to give. I’m far from being fully healed from my grief. It’ll be with me for the rest of my life lurking in the background. I refuse to let grief consume me. There is a life after loss. It’s when anyone feels ready to grab it.
What helps is to think positive tell yourself you do not have to live like this we’ve all got to start somewhere
Thank you so much
1 Like
@Jopeace might you have PTSD?
I lost my dad in November 2023, completely out of the blue. He was fit and well, and we thought he was in perfect health. I basically haven’t accepted reality. I accepted that my grandma and grandad passed, in 2008 and 2015. And other sad losses. But not my dad. It just can’t be. He has been the most important man in my life from the moment I was born, and he’s always been there to solve any problem. The most generous, gorgeous, kind and wonderful father. My mum, brother and I stick closely together, and we keep each other positive. But it’s really hard, because my dad was the most positive-thinking person in my family. The rest of us struggle with negative thoughts.
takes a long time to heal. years. you are early in. it is a long slow chapter. mine are gone. I miss them so much today. it never leaves but eases a great deal. I said in earlier posts, we are along for the ride in life. 
Yes thank you for that . As you said it’s always in the background, thank you for your encouragement. It’s great to be in touch on here . Take care yourself
I don’t have advice as i too feel exactly the same. Bar the counsellor. As i dont have grief counsellor. I just felt like your words were my words. I too lost my dad in May of 2023 .
Hello , you are doing well , staying positive. I lost my dad around the same time as yours. I feel that it’s still unreal , the pain sometimes is unbearable. It is good to keep busy , and I find that work helps . I remember saying to a work colleague that I was never as bad as this when my grandparents passed away . They said that it is so different to loose a parent . Well you could say that . I have never felt such a horrendous feeling such as this .I am hoping that I can eventually accept things . Keep going , though I understand how you feel xx
2 Likes
Thank you so much for your support.
Thank you so much. I really appreciate that…