Loss of my daughter aged 21.

It’s almost a year now , since loosing my Emily . I am struggling a bit .

I know how you feel I lost my son to cancer in December and i am really struggling I just don’t know how to cope.

It’s hard. The smallest thing has me in tears. I can’t say it gets any easier, because it hasn’t for me . People who say time heals all , haven’t got a clue . Because it hasn’t, and never will for me . I miss her every second. My sincerest sympathy for the loss of your son .

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I am in tears all the time too and I have started to suffer from anxiety my doctor said it will ease with time but that’s easy for them to say as it isn’t his child that has been lost to cancer. I am also sorry for your loss please keep in contact and maybe we could help each other a little bit.

Hi Jan and Mirlos, My Daughter died August 2017, age 43 yrs, after a thirteen month illness with Pancreatic Cancer and I have went into a complete shut down, I know how you both feel, it is totally horrendous, I am so depressed, I get so angry, can’t venture out and wonder how life can possibly go on!!! I attend Doctors every two weeks for review of meds, but we all know there is no magic pill out there. My daughter was my chum such a wonderful bond we had and then boom everything changes and life will never be the same, how can it be? when someone so precious is cruelly taken from those that love them dearly…
It’s all so unfair that any Mum or Dad should have to go through this pain and torture…
I find it has totally changed me, I have zero tolerance, get so angry, anxiety, cry constantly, feel guilty that I’m here and she isn’t…
People say she wouldn’t want you being like this but I really don’t know how you can be expected to be any different, my heart is broken… Four months into my Daughters illness my Dad passed away, now my Mum is in hospital with a broken hip after a fall, it just seems to be coming at me thick and fast, I feel I’ve had enough and can’t take anymore… It makes me question what is this life all about, will I ever get through it?

Love and hugs to you both. xxx

Hi Aunya I am the same as you i can’t function without my son .is also am suffering from anxiety and depression life is just so cruel. I see my doctor every 3 weeks but it just isn’t easing .I hate being on my own and seem to be in panic mode most of the time.I wish there was something I could say to help you but all I can do is send you a hug xxx

To everyone…I lost my son Christian on the 4th December 2017…and that was when life as we knew it just stopped…I am not living a life anymore but just existing from one day to the next …Christian wasn’t perfect he had his faults like all of us but he brought so much fun and laughter and enormous love into our lives that when he went so much went with him…he was my son and my best friend and I miss him so very very much…I feel guilty because I know my husband and my elder son are suffering too so for their sake I try and be strong…We take so much for granted in this world we never fully appreciate what we have until it is taken from us…

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Aunya, it is people’s flaws and imperfections that make them more human/vulnerable/loveable and I think when you lose your child even if you think of their “imperfections” that heightens your love for them, this is the case for me.
Love from Carol x

Hello Marina I am so sorry to hear about Christian. I know exactly what you mean about not fully appreciating what we have until it is taken away. I lost my beautiful kind and clever daughter Caroline aged 22 last July. She had achieved a huge amount in her short life but also had so much to live for - she did not get to collect her 1st class degree or take up her place as a graduate trainee hotel manager. She died from an unsurvivable brain injury from lack of Oxygen after suffering a blood clot that passed through her heart into her lungs. Her friends, colleagues and teachers said such wonderful things about her which was hugely comforting and we - my husband, her two brothers and I - are trying to do things with our lives that would have made her proud of us as we are of her. Her younger brother to whom she was very close won a hiking competition with his team last weekend and we raised a glass to her photo as we celebrated his success. Whilst she is still a very big part of our lives the hardest part is missing being able to talk to her about everyday things she would have appreciated. I am now the only female in the house - even the Guinea pig is a boy! Tonight is a bad night hence I am posting this but despite the grief, I would rather have had her for the years we did than not at all. Like your Christian she was not completely perfect - especially when she was younger when she was a right little madam sometimes - but I could not have wished for a better daughter. I hope you are doing okay - long weekends are family time which is hard.

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