It is nearly 2 and a half years since i lost my first born child at the age of 27, taken from me by her brutal, cowardly, narcissistic, coercive, violent ex partner who then took his own life rather than face up to the horrific murder he committed. Every day i relive it as i found my daughter, every day i miss her, every day i.feel the guilt and every day i wish it was me. I wish i could see her once more to tell her i am so sorry i could not protect her, hug her and tell her i love her. I miss you every second of every day and night my princess 
xxxxx
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Hi,
I have no experience but I could feel your pain, what an awful thing to happen.
2.5 years is no time at all when you’ve lost someone very close.
On top of grief you.ll have all these other thoughts crashing down on you.
Have you thought about counselling? Maybe a counsellor who specialises? Or a forum for parents who have suffered the same loss as you? You might find something on a google search?
I’m not much help I’m afraid just wanted you to know how sorry I feel for your daughter and yourself.
Thank you for your message.
I have had bereavement counselling and then they passed me on to a psychologist, which i started my sessions with but they had to stop due to the pandemic lockdown, now i have been reassessed and told i need a psychologist but there is a long waiting list. It is very frustrating as i feel i am going backwards with my grieving now.
While your waiting, at the search magnifying glass at the top right hand corner of the screen if you put in “murder” there are quite a few posts from others in your position that may help?
Also looking online there is a group called “support after murder & manslaughter” (Samm) they offer 121 support and also have a online support forum, telephone 0121 4722912, I haven’t looked through the website but might be worth you having a look but please suss it out first just to make sure it’s legit?