My beautiful daughter died from Ovarian Cancer 6 weeks ago and I am devastated. I took care of her for the past 2 years from diagnosis and she was doing really well up until November. We were extremely close as she was a single parent and I took care of her daughter while she worked. Sarah was a well respected Police Officer and achieved great things. I am taking care of her daughter who has just turned 18 who I live dearly.
I am trying to cope with my loss and also help my grandaughter with her loss.
It has left a gapping hole in our lives and we just don’t know how to carry on.
Thank you for reading this and any help you can offer.
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Hello @JaneW22,
I am so sorry that your daughter has died - this is so, so hard. Cancer destroys so many people’s lives, hopes and dreams. Your daughter’s life touched many others in great ways, that is a legacy that many people will never achieve. You are in the very earliest days of grief. The hardest of days and times. My advice would be to be kind to yourself, to talk about your daughter, to talk to her, too. I talk to my late husband (died 3 months ago from cancer) all the time. I find it helps. Grief counselling is really helpful, too. I am on my second course from the Hospice where T died. I am learning a lot about myself as well as how to navigate this road. I read The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion and The Madness of Grief by Rev Richard Coles - both really good. I am now reading The Red of My Blood, by Clover Stroud, another excellent and helpful book about grief. The Good Grief Trust has a website that will show you support groups and help locally. For now, it is Sunday, and I think a treat might help. It could be a milky coffee, or chocolate or a pub lunch. Something that you might like and haven’t done for a while. It is not wrong to do this, even though your daughter is not here to do it with you. From what you wrote, my friend, she would positively encourage you. And she will keep encouraging you, forever, as my husband encourages me. I am three months in, as I wrote, and you know - while I miss him desperately, I am being more accustomed to this new life and I am surviving. I know you will be ok, with your granddaughter there and the love of your daughter, which is eternal, with you. Hold tight, my dear, hold on - it will be ok x
Thank you for your kind words It helps greatly to be able to communicate with someone who has an understanding of the grief that is felt. I am so sorry for your loss.
Xx
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I’m so sorry your Daughter has died. It hurts you to the core watching her suffer and worry, then to lose her is just inconsolable anguish. I lost my 28 year old daughter last year to cancer so I know what you’re feeling sadly. You’ve lost part of you, indescribable grief, I really feel for you and I’m
Sending you love. Don’t try to make yourself heal/get better/ keep going, just do as you feel day by day, hour by hour more like, breathe and grieve. If ever you want to message me please do get in touch xxx
I am very sorry for your loss it is the worst feeling not being able to protect them and make them better as a Mum.
You are so kind to reply to my message as it helps to know that there is someone who can relate to the sorrow.
Xx